It pains me to inform you, my fellow Canadians, that there will be no Embassy festivities this year for Canada day in Morocco. Rumour has it the Canadian Embassy had a party on Tuesday June 26th, but forgot to invite people. They also seem to have not noticed that Canada Day this year falls on a Sunday, which is the perfect day for an enormous party.
As a shocked Canadian living in Morocco, I called an emergency meeting with Canadian icons Bob and Doug Mackenzie. They said, “What d’ya want eh!” and, “Go away ya hoser,” but were otherwise fully supportive of my plan to celebrate Canada Day, on its actual date, here in Morocco.
In honour of the second biggest country in the world, a special, “Canada Day,” hockey tournament has been organized at the Megamall. It starts with the younger teams at 13h00, however the main match takes place at 18h30.
The men’s team representing Canada will be led by none other than local legend, Dan Sturgis. He is akin to a hockey hero in the land of people who never skated before. Hockey historians call him a, “lazy skater prone to knee injuries,” and hockey insiders warmly refer to him as a “Never was.”
The tournament has been dedicated to Canada’s official head of state, Queen Elizibeth II. Festivities following the tournament will be held in the nearby patio of restaurant XO. Entrance is free, however the event will be held in true Canadian style. Therefore, it’s BYOB, and BYBMS, with MS being interchangeable for both maple syrup and moose steak. You may be tackled at the door if they catch you trying to smuggle beer inside, so hide it well. Those who bring a clever sign, particularly one bashing the Canadian Embassy and ambassador for his lack of National Spirit, will be given a free pancake in which to spread their Maple Syrup on.
Happy Canada Day everyone!