Friday, December 04, 2009

Satire - Afghans, Native Americans, and Palestinians Apologize to Stephen Harper

Afghan detainees, who were transferred into conditions of torture, rape, and even murder, have apologized for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"We see a place like Tibet, where the Chinese government has taken their territory and claimed sovereignty over them, and we see how lucky we are to have Canada and Europe as our occupiers," said Omar Khan, humiliated Kandahar civilian who was rounded up by Canadian soldiers in a security sweep and later tortured, raped and beaten. His brother is still missing.

"The humiliations we faced were mere inconveniences compared to what the Chinese have done to Tibetans. The Chinese brought horrible things such as economic stability, policing, and investment to Tibet. We are proud that our occupier, Canada, is standing up to these Chinese aggressors."

"Elections are the way to go," Omar Khan continued. "Democracy is so much better than Communism. China should look at Afghanistan as a role model of democracy!"

Native Indians, who were also the subject of humiliations, such as having their families ripped apart and the children sent into schools where they faced rape and beatings, think Canada is doing the right thing standing up to the Tibetan occupiers.

"It's wrong to steal land from people. It's wrong to force your culture on other people, and exploit their resources and land," said Native Indian, fermented potato on the Rocks.

Palestinians too, who have criticized Stephen Harper in the past for his staunch support of Israel, and for his refusal to condemn Israeli aggression even while they were committing war crimes, have come round to fully support Stephen Harper in his bid to lambaste China for their Tibetan exploits.

"You have to stand up for what's right?" said Palestinian Omar Bin Lyin. "Flooding a country with another culture, just because that other culture has more advanced weapons and technology, is wrong! Even if those cultures, and a power struggle, go back thousands of years, it shouldn't be put up with, ever. That's why I support Stephen Harper in his quest to right the wrongs China has committed."

No comments: