The Struggling Travel Writer

Site meter

2012-01-11T17:07:00.004Z

Back in the day, I wrote a couple times a week. Now, it's become once a month, more or less.
I've been using site meter and notice that my page gets about ten views per day. One of my most popular blog postings was on the Public Service exams and how to prepare for them. It's good to know that about ten people a day are clicking on my blog, but I am curious. Are there actually people clicking on my blog, or are a lot of these "clicks" bots scouring through the internet. I do get a fair number of spam postings. Curious...

Assad - STOP THE TERRORISTS

2012-01-11T16:38:00.004Z

As you can see in the following pictures, the Syrian military are clearly battling terrorists intent on overthrowing the regime and wreaking havoc on the Middle East, and the world. The heroic Bashir ASSAD has spoken the truth himself, as the following excerpt shows.

“Our priority now is to regain security which we basked in for decades, and this can only be achieved by hitting the terrorists with an iron hand,” Mr. Assad said in a nearly two-hour speech at Damascus University, where he stood at a podium flanked by Syrian flags. “We will not be lenient with those who work with outsiders against the country.”

It is time other nations step up and support the Syrian regime in their attempts to quell the terrorism. As the dangerous pictures show, these are no innocents!

Greece, here we come.

2011-11-08T23:45:00.004Z

Canada's descent into economic chaos may not happen as suddenly and painstakingly as say, in Greece or Italy.

But is it coming?

I laugh, in a sarcastic, angry, I wanna go to a punching bag and hit it so hard it unhinges sort of way - when Stephen Harper stands in front of the cameras and boasts Canada's fiscal responsibility and position in the world - then announces, like they did today, that more debt is coming as far as we can see into the future.

So, how exactly should other countries should be more like Canada and follow our example?

Should they exploit massive amounts of natural resources to provide jobs, revenues, taxes - and yet still run deficits?

Oh wait, unlike the second largest country in the world, they don't have massive amounts of natural resources to squander.

Should they pollute the hell out of their lands for profit and not worry about the long term costs to the environment?

Yes, Canada is in the best financial position in the G7.

Is is because of the dwindling euphoria of Liberal economic surpluses?

Is it because of massive tax revenues from oil and gas industries, timber industries, and mining industries? Natural resource wise - on the international front, Canada's like they guy who won the lottery for life, getting a guaranteed long term boost other countries don't have.

Or is it because of the Conservative slash and spend policy. A policy that shows a Conservative-led Canada slowly but surely following in the footsteps of Greece, the US and Italy.

So next time, Stephen Harper, you stand in front of the Cameras and boast Canada's brilliant economic leadership - perhaps tell the truth - that despite winning the natural resource lottery for life you still can't manage to balance the budget.

First response - positive

2011-10-31T17:19:00.002Z

I got a response from a publisher on my book, Beach Buggy Safari - my first positive response.

Previously, I got a lot of "no thanks," and, "we're not interested." It was the grounded before take off kind of responses and they came pretty quickly. Quickly enough to smarten me up anyhow.

I deserved those responses. In retrospect the book wasn't ready - or I wasn't ready. My writing wasn't good enough. It wasn't edited like it should have been. It hadn't been through the critique process like it should have been.

The Publisher's response was a long and thoughful letter, saying they liked the story but want me to change it before considering it for publication.

They want me to alter the story from, being about my frantic adventure to adventure - to a more historical and culturally immersed point of view to compliment the adventures I had.

There are chapters in the book that are more historically and culturally relevant. I think those chapters are some of the ones that I was most pleased with - enjoyed writing the most - and flowed most naturally.

Admittedly, with probing from a variety of readers, I got immersed in the good story conundrum - that there are three elements to a good story - conflict, conflict, and conflict. To that note, I played up each adventure and tried to make every significant incident an adrenaline rush.

I might have overdone the adventures at some point, at the expense of the fascinating people, history and scenery around me. I think this came to a head when I had different people reading the story every week. With some people yawning at the historical bits and pushing me to crank up the conflict to the max. Not to mention there were no people who read the story start to finish to give me overall objectivity.

I guess the trick now is to pare down some of the adventure, while playing up the people and history and tying them more strongly into the adventures that are left.

To do that, I'll need to read through the story, scratch this, add this, change this, flesh out this, leave this alone... You get the idea.

With two kids, full time work, sports that I'm just getting back into...

I'll need a couple writing vacations - A hard trick when your family is vying for your already tight attention.

There is one more publisher still mulling the book over. I'll wait and see what their POV is before taking too much action.

At the same time, reading books on Africa and familiarizing/refrshing my brain with all of the cultures and histories I may once again delve into will place me well for a rewrite.

Protesting your own folley

2011-10-22T23:10:00.002Z

Protesting economic incompetence is a little like trying to save a cake once you've burnt it to a crisp - too little too late. Where were the protests when the government was handing out jobs and racking up ridiculous debts? Where were the protests when they increased spending and slashed taxes? When Greece showed the world what they could do during the Olympics.

There were no protests, there were votes!

People vote for what puts money in there pocket now, not tomorrow. When the government is involved, who thinks what might happen ten, twenty, thirty years from now. You pay for the biggest promises, putting no emphasis on fiscal competence.

It's time to pay up. Plain and simple. Higher taxes and lower spending. You can't change historical facts. Tomorrow Chernobyl will still be a disaster zone, Greece's finances will still be abysmal. Worst of all, too many countries are touting their own fiscal competence while hurtling down the exact same path as Greece.

Protests don't solve very much after the fact. After it's too damn late.

Extremism strikes!

2011-07-24T23:18:00.004+01:00

Christian fundamentalist gunman posts manifesto about why he did what he did. He's against the concept of Eurabia.
Um, dude, you do know where Christianity came from, don't you?

We are reminded again that stupidity is a universal concept that doesn't discriminate between races and genders.

Had this happened in Iraq, or Pakistan, or Afghanistan, or Israel, or Palestine - I'd be glancing over the headline - same old story, read it a hundred times.

I don't know if that's wrong? It's just the way it is. I guess it's like the vagabond crackhead on the street spending another night in cells for some property crime or violent confrontation compared to a Hollywood star doing the same thing.

How many people died of thirst or hunger today making the trek through bone-dry southern Somalia to Kenya? Dozens? Hundreds? More... Let me check the middle pages of the newspaper, possibly buried, probably not.

My eyes remain glued to the freak tragedy unfolding. The conspiracy theories behind twisted motivations of mass murder. Neutral Norway in shock. Too neutral for some.

Book Status Update - No news

2011-07-24T23:14:00.002+01:00

The first publisher was very keen on my book, but was either bankrupt or never had the money or business sense to get off the ground in the first place.
The second publisher asked for the complete manuscript then never got back to me for a year and a half now.
The third publisher seemed very interested, asked for the full manuscript, told me it was under consideration and in their pile of stuff they liked - then never got back to me.
So today, I sent off two polite letters asking for a status update. I'm going through the publisher research process again. I only wish I had more time to really apply to a few more publishers.

Dear Brian Burke, grow a pair....

2011-07-06T22:43:00.004+01:00

So Brian Burke doesn't like front end loaded contracts which are all the rage in the NHL currently. Pay a player bucket loads of money in the first couple years, then around what there worth for a couple years, and finish it off with several years at peanuts salaries.

And Brian Burke doesn't like other teams poaching restricted free agents either. He doesn't like losing a good player and getting draft picks in return because a richer team has the cash to pay good players.

You know what I don't like...

Teams who intentionally suck ass for several years so they can poach the best prospects and then come out as contenders for the Stanley Cup. I don't like when my team doesn't have a single Crosby, Malkin, Staal, Andre-Fleury, or Lecavelier, Richards, St Louis, Stamkos or Hedman. Instead my team puts all their money in the bucket to get whatever talent they can and continually vie for mediocracy.

I don't like it that my team refuses to accept the little loopholes and take advantage of front end loaded contracts or poaching strategies so we perpetually miss out on top talent.

You know what Burke - it's business, and if you don't have the balls to go out and make my favourite team better in whatever way you can, then get out of the game and bring in someone with balls who will.

It's a business, not a popularity contest. If someone questions your ethics, point out you're playing by the rules. Aside from North American Pro sports, what other job rewards failure by giving the biggest loser the biggest prize---the future stars and a crack at the cup.

Here in Canada we have a ridiculous Stanley cup drought. It's because we're nice and want to win at the same time. It's time to get nasty.

So Stamkos comes to Canada. I'm sure all twenty Tampa Bay Lightning fans will be extremely disappointed. Perhaps their money losing management will breathe a sigh of relief that they don't have to pay for something they can't afford.

Peter McKay Vindicated!

2011-06-22T22:22:00.003+01:00

Dear Canadian people
A slew of lightly censured material proves, beyond any doubt, that under Peter McKay's brilliant direction, that no inappropriate prisoner transfer arrangement was set up between Canadian Forces and Afghan Prisons. The following document in particular completely exonerates McKay from any involvement in the heinous allegations of the evil and completely hysterical opposition who tried to alarm the good Canadian public through falsehoods and outright lies.

Nitwit Parliament

2011-05-03T23:38:00.007+01:00

In university, I remember a girl who was active in Politics - party memberships, the Students Union, etc. She was in some of my marketing classes. For the most part, in University, I was surrounded by people of university intelligence. A few brilliant people, but for the most part people who learned what they had to learn and got their degrees. People smart and driven enough to gain an understanding of a variety of subjects and get a pretty piece proving that they had.

This girl involved in school and other politics was the biggest idiot I'd ever met. I don't know if she made it past third year, which was when I met her.

There are some very clever people involved in politics, so I'm not trying to single this girl out as representative of politicians. For some reason though, I see her in a lot of politicians today and I naturally make comparisons.

We've had the Conservatives in power for five years now - Some of their decisions make me think about this girl. The changing of our census collection being a prime example. I don't expect every person out there to understand the impact of the Conservatives tampering with Census collection, if you can even call it a Census anymore. I'd rather call it a survey of anyone inclined to fill out the survey - which eliminates people who are "too busy, lazy, don't care, don't speak good English, can't read, etc. Or the opposite - church groups who pressure their kin to fill out the Census...

The point is that a voluntary survey goes against the point of a census - which is to collect accurate RANDOM samples of a portion of the population and extrapolate those numbers to be reflective of the larger population.

Census data then helps in hundreds of ways - so that politicians can create policy, so students can have a baseline of accurate information for research, so trends can be analyzed. A critical tool is now gone - replaced by an ineffective one that probably costs about the same.

There's more incompetence, much more incompetence, so much more that I can't help but think, Does Canada truly have an electorate of which 40% and more ignore the Conservative transgressions and vote for them anyway?

I really do have trouble understanding. Is it because gay marriage pissed people off? Is it because abortion is wrong? Is it really better to make it illegal? Should a young girl, terrified of her overbearing religious parents and with a sinful baby growing in her belly instead go into a back alley where a shady guy with elongated pliers will do the job because safe clinics are illegal? Do you really care if two homosexuals have a piece of paper officially saying they love each other.

Because what bothers me more is the fact that our government was complicit and possibly even committed war crimes. The fact is Canadian policy on prisoner transfers in Afghanistan led to abuse. A "War crime," sat at the feet of our most powerful decision makers. What did they do? 1) They tried to character assassinate the messenger. They sabre rattled like George Bush with slogans like, "Don't insult the honour of our soldiers, and, You're either with us or against us." Minority government limitations can get pretty heated. So, rather than face tough questions, they prorogued parliament! They stopped Canada's government entirely to hide from answering for their incompetence.

Jets. What's the total cost? Nine billion. Seventeen billion. Thirty billion? I don't know because the Conservative government is the first government in the history of Canada to be held in contempt of parliament for refusing to release the real cost. Pretty damn serious considering a thirty billion dollar price tag is around a thousand dollars out of every single Canadian's pocketbook.

The GST cut - great, easy on the pocket right. Not when we have a $50 billion dollar deficit, more than half a trillion dollars in debt.

My common sense. I borrow money and then I scrounge and suck it up to pay off that money so I don't have to pay off even more in the future.

Conservative common sense. We borrow money, we lower the payments and borrow more money, then more money, then more money, then more money.

SO CANADA

We have the NDP as a completely useless official opposition. We have a bunch of impressionable random MP's, possibly not even vetted, put in constituencies they never seriously expected to win, who will be overwhelmed in the house of commons. At worst, we have more nitwits who fell into politics and are little more than a name next to an orange word on a ballot which the nitwit never expected to win.
If you were to ask someone with serious political aspirations five years ago if they'd consider running for the NDP in some staunch Liberal or Bloc Quebec riding they would have laughed at you. By some strange twist of fate, these are now the people representing us in the house of commons. A nineteen year old-blooming kid making $150,000 per year, because, probably as a joke, he took up a weak parties seat in Quebec and somehow rode a wave of outrage into power. It was always a theory of mine that a parliamentarian's only qualification was that he or she could sit behind their particular leader and clap when prompted. I think that's now been confirmed.

Jack Layton victorious? More like Jack Layton with a bunch of seats filled by unknown and unvetted nincompoops but no real power to do anything but sit in a tiny, low to the ground chair across from Stephen Harper's high throne. Jack Layton touting his gains as though splitting the left vote, railroading the Liberals into insignicance and handing Stephen Harper a majority is good for Canadian Politics. Damn, give your head a shake man. Tell it like it is - it's a bloody disaster! You've handed power over to a man who will do anything and everything short of becoming a Robert Mugabe to completely decimate the opposition.

Just like the girl from Univeristy, how many such nincompoops may be MP's in government. What vetting process did the NDP use? Or was it "Who is stupid enough to run for the NDP in a riding we don't have a chance of winning in a hundred years... unless... oops..."

Dark days are ahead for Canada.

Four years of unchecked conservative rule.

A government that treated a minority like a majority and will treat a majority like what, a dictatorship?

An agenda that conveniently plans to balance the budget in 2015, just in time for the next election.

An opposition with a few experienced members and a bunch of jokers who fluked into politics. How would you feel if you went to the hospital and your doctor said, "I'm not sure what I'm doing, I just applied for the job and a bunch of people who never met me gave me their stamp of approval."

So bring on the debt, mortgage our children's future, give tax breaks to the wealthy companies who can afford them and take 40% of MY salary to compensate for jets and other pocket lining purchases.

Trod on the rights of minorities, let them languish in foreign embassies without passports or consular support.

Cast away our role of peacemaker in return for unflinching support of Israel, even when their biggest ally, the US, is saying, Whoa, don't decimate Lebanon over spilled milk.

While your at it, follow in Bush's footsteps and use the Arab bitterness at our Jewish vote pandering as reason to curtail our own freedoms lest angry terrorists rise among us. Just add the price tag onto our children's future debt, if you don't mind...

Thanks for the tax havens I can't afford because I'm putting my pennies into my mortgage. Our rich and wealthy no longer need to hide money in Bermuda and Switzerland. The middle class family of four, like mine, can scarce afford $15,000 per year into tax free savings and educational savings plans. So, again, how will the budget be balanced in four years? The "rich" and money savvy investors won't be paying any taxes on eight years worth of $40,000 base investments thanks to your TFSA's. Psst. People aren't saving too much money, just the rich ones with lots already saved. They're shifting their savings into your tax free accounts...
So eliminate the GST, screw over capital gains tax revenues for the next government while boosting spending.
Our PM's an economist, so he must know what he's doing.

And in my last will and testament, to my beloved children, I leave you the pleasure of paying off Conservative government debts. Twenty-Five percent GST, fifty percent income tax and an inflation rate that makes Robert Mugabe blush. A small sacrifice to pay so that gays can't get married, women can't have safe abortions, and Israel can say, "See, someone agrees with our philosophy, ten thousand eyes for an eye."

Canada, welcome to a new era of nitwit parliament.

The top ten reasons that, in 1996, Jack Layton was caught in a massage parlour busted for inappropriate conduct.

2011-04-30T20:33:00.006+01:00

10) For a massage, ;)

9) Not quite sure, but for some reason Layton seems to be locking up the oil patch vote, and it has nothing to do with his stance on pollution and industry ethics.

8) Jack Layton + massage parlour + unscrupulous partisan opposition in the right place at the right time = 1-800-222-TIPS

7) For a massage ;) ;)

6) Because his back was sore. ;) ;) ;)

5) Somebody had an “in” with the Chinese Massage community.

4) He was preparing for a surge in the pole…

3) One of the White House interns booked him the appointment.

2) So Stephen Harper can say, “Why didn’t you just roll over already!”

1) Seeking clarification, Jack Layton went out to discover just what opposition members meant when they referred to him as a "whack job."

Politics and Economics - Canadian Election

2011-04-26T16:33:00.005+01:00

So you want to vote Stephen Harper. You like the fact that he's created these tax free savings accounts, these little tax havens where you can store, invest, and stow away a few grand a year without the government touching it. It's all good, right. Even if you can't quite save five grand per year and a couple more for the educational savings account, it's nice to know that you could, if you come into some money. But what about the taxes we are paying thanks to the conservatives? Here's a very rough look at Canada's historical debt.

Government Years Debt from govt Avg int % Prev int. Real debt/surp
billions other gov'ts

Liberal 1968-1984 100 11% 90 bn
Conservative 1985-1992 420 10% 90 bn 330 bn
Liberal 1993-2005 (100) 3.5% 160 (247)
Conservative 2006-2011 61 2.5% 0 61 bn

What the above numbers crunch down to is this.

The Liberal government started off a deficit of 90 billion dollars, more or less, mostly accumulated by the Trudeau Government between 1968 and 1984.

The conservatives got into power, and had to pay off that debt at historically painful interest rates. But, along with the Liberal debt interest payments of around 90 billion over their eight years, the conservatives accumulated their own debt of 350 Billion more to bring the total debt to 520 billion.

The liberals got back into power and went wait a minute, this is out of control. The Liberals paid off 100 billion dollars of the debt over their 12 years in office. This however is deceptive. On top of the 100 billion they paid off, they paid 147 billion servicing the previous conservative debt. If you consider the original Liberal debt was 90 billion plus 90 billion in interest payments, the Liberals paid off their original debt and were now strictly servicing the Conservative debt.

So the Conservatives get back into power. The debt balloons again.

We are now paying off more than half a trillion dollars in debt - all of it Conservative. At 2.5% interest that works out to 12.5 billion dollars per year in taxes just to service the interest payments. That's $416 per year per Canadian to service the debt. Considering there are 17 million employed Canadians, the interest on the debt is $735.00 per employed Canadian

If you're like me and want to pay off the debt, like you would on your house, and plan a 25 year timeline. You'd tack on another $1223 per year, bringing total the debt up to about $2000.00 per year to pay off.

So let me ask you a question. Who do you want in power? The guys who gives you a great tax break, if you can actually afford to save that money, and then mortgage your children's future, or the guys who actually started fixing the screw-ups and began to pay the debt off. Personally, I find it hard enough paying a ten grand per year on my own mortgage. I don't need to pay off Stephen Harpers and Brian Mulroney's as well.

Vote Liberal
Vote NDP
Vote Green.
Heck, Vote for the Bloc

Just don't vote for mortgaging my children's future so the rich can get another tax break.

A little disclaimer. My numbers aren't exact but estimates based on information that's available. For the most part I think they're pretty close, give or take a few percent. The point of the numbers is to show how fiscally irresponsible the conservative government has been.

Election Time

2011-03-27T22:25:00.005Z

The only problem with an election right this moment is that Stephen Harper is going to end up with another useless minority. What's the point?

One thing I envy about the American system is it comes down to two parties, two choices. Not four, or five if your in Quebec. Nothing's more frustrating than losing a seat to a vote like this.

A - The party I really dislike - 26%
B - The party I really like - 25%
C - The party I like but don't think they have a chance - 25%
D - The party I'd vote for only if it meant the party I really dislike won't get the seat - 24%

In a nutshell, this is what Stephen HARPER means to me.

1) Stance on Israel Palestine - From Canada's former decades of peaceful resolution stance to a new let's support Israel no matter how many human rights they violate and even if their own population is up in arms about their excessive use of force.

2) Economists, like PM HARPER should certainly have some understanding of statistical analysis, right?
Apparently not. Let's scrap the long form census and come up with an optional census that all Canadians can fill out if they feel so inclined. A census that has absolutely no statistical reliability and will be skewed toward religious groups that urge their congregations to shape Canadian values by implementing their own values to skew our census data.

3) Let's take Canada's enviable financial surpluses from the previous government, raise spending, slash taxes, send the debt soaring (pretty much the US model that led them into their current financial disaster), then claim the glory that Canada's economy is the envy of the world thanks to the Harper government. But that's not enough, let's go on to claim that the other parties don't have the fiscal competence to lead Canada through the "still fragile" economy. Yes Harper, it was all you, not one bit Canada's commodity and resource rich economy that kept us afloat. Not one bit the Liberal surpluses that staved off economic disaster. It was all you buddy, all you.

So Harper's going to get his 30-40% minority government.
The 5-10% of all the votes the Green Party gets will eat up any chance of the New Democrats becoming more significant than about 15% of the seats.
The New Democrats will eat up any chance of the Liberals getting a minority government ala my previous example of the vote breakdown.
Finally, the Bloc will stop any and all parties from getting a majority government with their guaranteed pander to Quebec stance for 10% of all seats. Canadian politics, an exercise in frustration.

Prediction by # of seats.

Harper - 30-40% of seats.
Liberals - 20-30 % of seats
NDP - 10-20% of seats.
Bloc - 10-15% of seats
Green/independents - 3-5% of seats

Cupcake Day!

2011-02-08T22:08:00.002Z

I was in the basement, the Food Network channel on in the other room, as usual, when a request I've long cringed came from my beloved wife. "Honey, I feel like a cupcake from the cupcake store.".
Oh good God no! was my instinctive reaction. The Cupcake Store is where women go to seek refuge from testosterone tainted lifestyles otherwise known as healthy marriages. I can go to the drug store and buy feminine hygiene products, not a problem. Condoms and jellies and sex books, hey, look at me, I'm gettin' some. But the cupcake store...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It's, it's, it's akin to walking into the women's washroom by accident.

Off I went, over the bumpy snow with my man-ly four-by-four, pardon the masculine adjectives, I'm trying to compensate for what might be the equivalent of a month's worth of estrogen therapy. I pulled into the cupcakery parking lot, right between two huge American-made trucks parked outside. The two trucks dwarfed my Pathfinder in what felt like some feminine conspiracy to further tarnish my manhood dare I enter their sacred establishment.

I got out and went into the store. My first thought, "Oh, thank god, there's a man ordering at the till." As I walked closer I could tell, from his voice, the way he flicked his wrist, and the two earrings he wore that this man was far more in touch with his feminine side than I. The dainty little shiny black tables with two chairs each, the flowery cupcakes with swirling icing atop them, descriptions longer than novel blurbs.

I avoided eye contact with the man lest his gaydar compass be confused by by this sanctuary of femininity.

My avoiding eyes scanned the cupcakes, reading their elaborate article-length descriptions and scanning for my wife's directions. "Cream cheese icing." I found it after about my fifth placard reading, the only other word that registered in that description was bourbon although there were probably other words like heavenly, and divine, and girly...

I placed my order. "Would you like it in a box?" The girl asked.
"Yes!" I said, the request an obscure way out. If I was buying someone a gift, I was not here on my own account. I was forced to be here to make a loved one happy.

She rang the order through, $3.93. I had my out. The feminine man's gaydar need be confused no longer, I was buying this cupcake for someone else, male or female, it didn't matter, I was taken. Wait a second, did she say $3.93, for a F#$%ING cupcake that wasn't even that big.

Speaking of big cupcakes, back in primary school we had cupcake days. Once a month, one of the grades would have students in that grade bring a dozen cupcakes per student to school. The teachers would sell them at recess for twenty five cents.

It was the day that Dave Chaffey was the hero. Chaffey's mom made huge cupcakes. I remember them having blue icing and everyone idolizing Chaffey that day. If it were up to us kids, we'd rename it Dave Chaffey Day instead of cupcake day. Those cupcakes were like mountains compared to the mole hills our moms made. You needed both hands to hold them and they lasted all recess, if you were lucky enough to get one because there were only a dozen and seventeen boys with their eyes popping out and saliva dripping down their chins in the class. We all knowing which one's to ask for because we saw them in class beforehand and they were sold through the windows so you couldn't see what you were getting.

I paid my $3.93, enough for 15 cupcakes from public school days, and took the cupcake home to my wife. Another day, another ordeal, another gruesome chapter in the life of Dan complete!

Egyptian Politics - through their jokes

2011-02-05T00:50:00.002Z

Police aren't the most popular people in Egypt. Baksheesh literally means gift in Arabic. The police will help you out for a gift. This is at all levels. To do an investigation, baksheesh. To drop a charge, baksheesh. Not write a ticket, baksheesh. Here's a look at Egypt through some of the Egyptian humour I know...

The Egyptian police had their big annual recruiting day. Hundreds upon hundreds of unemployed people formed a huge crowd outside the main police station in Cairo. The chief of police came out to the front steps of the police station with a loud speaker and said, "Everyone who can read and write, go stand on the right of the square. And everyone who cannot read and write, go and stand on the left of the square." The chief of police paused for a minute as people moved to the left and right. He then announced, "Everyone still in the middle, hello and welcome to the Egyptian Police Force."

Mubarak isn't the most popular leader. He's a sort of running joke among Egyptians, who until recently laughed off their dictator. I guess that's better than being too scared to laugh off a dictator, like in Syria, right? Joke number two...

An entertainer and his monkey were performing for Hosni Mubarak. Mubarak said to the entertainer, "I'll give you 100 Egyptian Pounds if you can make your monkey laugh." The entertainer whispered something into the monkey's ear and the monkey shrieked with laughter.
Mubarak, impressed and nodding, said, "Cool, but I'll give you a thousand Egyptian pounds if you can make the monkey cry."
The entertainer whispered something different into the monkeys ear and the monkey started bawling, with big tears running down his cheeks and wracking sobs.
Mubarak shook his head in amazement. "Okay, that was very impressive, but I'll give you one million pounds if you can get the monkey to commit suicide."
For the third time, the man whispered something into the monkey's ear. The monkey shrieked, jumped up, raced toward the window, jumped through the glass, and plunged to his death.
Afterwards, Mubarak needed to know what the man said to the monkey, so he asked.
"Well," The entertainer said. "To get the monkey to laugh, I told him you were the president of Egypt. To get the monkey to cry, I told him I was serious and that you'd been the president for thirty years. To get him to commit suicide, I told him that after you were finished being the president, that your son was going to be the president, and that's when he jumped out the window."

--------------------------------------
There's fair reason behind why Egyptian's are skeptical about Mubarak and promises of upcoming elections. Joke number three.

It was election day in Egypt and Saide went out to make his vote. He went to the local polling station where several police stood with batons and guns. They took his ID and rifled through the filing system for his ballot. They found it and handed it to him. It had his name, date of birth and address on it. Below that information it had wrtiten, "Reelect Hosni Mubarak for president," and below that it had, "YES," or "NO."
He checked off "NO." Handed the ballot in and left the building.
Once outside, his friend said, "So, you voted yes, right?"
"No," Said Saide. "I voted NO."
"Are you crazy?" His friend said. "They have your name and your address on that ballot."
"Oh no! You're right!" Saide said. He ran back inside the building and said, "I made a mistake, I need to change my ballot."
"It's okay," one of the police officers said. "We already did."

Mubarak's wife Suzanna asked Mubarak why it was that in the days of Sadat, Egypt received much more money from the Americans. Mubarak said, “Because Sadat's wife would go to America and Carter would kiss her here and here," he pointed to both cheeks, "and then Carter would give Egypt two billion dollars. You should go to America to help Egypt and be kissed by Bush.”
Suzanne said, "Isn't it forbidden?”
“No it isn't, but when you come back to Egypt you must go to the Nile and wipe both cheeks with Nile water immediately.”
Suzanne went to America and Bush kissed her twice and gave Egypt a check for two billion dollars. When she came back to Egypt she went to the Nile and washed her cheeks, whereupon she saw one of the ministers in Mubarak's cabinet washing his anus. She asked, "Where did you come from?"
He said, "Saudi Arabia."

Egypt has differing foreign relations. From my experience, they welcome most all countries and people with open arms, except two. The one obvious country being Israel. The other...

An Egyptian taxi driver drove a popular route from the big touristy souq Khan al Khalili to the Hotel area of town. Most of his clients were foreigners. He picked up his first client.
"Where from. Where going?" He asked.
"From Canada, going to the hotel."
"Ahh, Canada, best beoble, best beoble.(people). That will be five pounds."
And so the conversations continued. Holland, England, France.... Best beoble, best beoble, best beoble. Five pounds, five pounds, five pounds.
Then he picked up a different client. "Where from? Where going?" he asked.
"Saudi Arabia, going to the hotel."
"Fifty pounds," the cab driver said.

More to come... a penny for my thoughts, and no, I won't need change...

A National Debt

2011-01-28T21:16:00.002Z

Population of USA = 307 million
Total employed people in USA = 120.5 Million
US National Debt = $14.1 trillion
US debt per citizen = $46,000
US debt per tax paying citizen = $117,000

Exploding a little too soon.... In Sweden

2010-12-14T17:27:00.005Z

It's said that people who suffer from premature explosions get so excited and nervous they can't help themselves. Before the big moment, they just explode and make a big embarrassing mess.

Such was the problem of the Swedish bomber yesterday. He just couldn't get inside and exploded not once, but twice before getting his unit into the goal spot. Penetration should generally have a GOAL and a target SPOT with maximum sensitivity, also known as the G-Spot.

A good way to avoid premature explosion is to wear protection over the unit so that it doesn't get set off prematurely through the normal course of touching that occurs prior to entry.

In some cases, it may be worth having two units of protection over the unit for those who get excited early and often, such as people who may explode twice prior to penetrating the target.

For those who suffer from premature explosion, effective medication is available. For more information contact doctor_kevorkian@hotmail.com

The big four.

2010-11-20T04:43:00.006Z

My son turned four yesterday. Four is big deal. For me, it's when I started to remember stuff. I can't remember too many specifics that happened when I was three. Some images and places and people, but four, that's a different story.

When I was four...

My brother was born twelve days after I turned four. He came home and his umbiblical cord fell off while I was next to him in the living room playing on the brown carpet. I thought it was my fault and I as going to get in trouble.

I never did.

John moved in two doors down and that was a big deal. I didn't know why one woman moved out of the house and another, John's mom, was moving in. I remember asking his dad as a four-year old why he was getting divorced. I don't recall his answer, just that he seemed to turn red.

So Zack is four now. He's had a busy four years. He's lived in three different houses from Alberta to Kingston to Morocco. He's travelled to five different countries (Canada, Spain, Morocco, USA, France.) He's been on at least twenty different flights, so many I've lost count. He's been to three different US states and five different provinces in Canada.

I wonder how much of it he'll remember when he gets older.

My pre-4 years are a mix of memories all blurred together. I remember peanut butter and banana sandwiches. I remember being upset at nursery school when I was left there. The nursery school had orange doors and books on a shelf that temporarily distracted me from the devastation of being without mum. I remember my sister had her dolls and her friend Erin. I remember my favourite shirt that said "super kid."

Four years old, life starts here, now lets go start some memories...

Got it - my Guinness Chili Recipe

2010-11-17T23:34:00.004Z

I was searching through the stacks of paperwork that has to be filed, somehow six months away from home, a long move and getting into a new house has put my paperwork in disarray, not that it was ever really in array to begin with. Is that possible, for something to be in array, I suppose, though I've never heard the term.

Within the depths of my paperwork I found something, my favourite chili recipe, and I'll share it with you now. Although the main purpose of writing it here is so that I have a back up should I ever lose it again.

Ingredients.

2 teaspoons oil
2 onions chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced.
1 lb lean ground beef.
3/4 cup beef sirloin cubed
1 big can of diced tomatoes
1 can of Guinness beer
1 cup strong coffee
2 cans tomato paste
1 can beef broth
1/2 cup brown sugar
3 tbsp red pepper jelly OR (hot) 3 tbsp tabasco
1 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp cocao
1 teaspoon oregano
1 teaspoon cayenne
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon salt
2 cans kidney beans
1 to 4 chopped chili peppers depending on desired heat.

Directions
Heat oil
Cook onions, garlic and meat until brown
Add Tomatoes, beer, coffee, tomato paste and beef broth
Add Spices, stir in one can kidney beans and peppers
Reduce heat and simmer for 90 minutes
Add remaining can of kidney beans and simmer for another 30 minutes.

Bon Appetite.

Been a while

2010-11-13T22:22:00.003Z

I'm in a bad mood. I can't say why, in particular, that is. I don't have anything particularly terrible happening that might cause me to be feeling down. I guess there isn't a whole lot to be feeling excited about either. I think I'm in the accelerated version of culture shock.
Am I missing home?
No, not really.
Do I dislike my job?
I like it, though it has it's good days and bad days. I'm learning lessons and figuring the system out.
My colleagues?
They're good. I like them, although I haven't gotten really close to anyone.
I guess I'm in a rut. A rut where the week races by and I don't feel like I've accomplished what I wanted to get done. I'm tired, a lot.

The question is, what should I do about it? What can make me feel better? That's what I need, a plan, some goals, realistic goals.

Happiness starts with health. The intention to work out daily kind of went out the window. I haven't had a proper workout in weeks.

Goal number one: excercise six out of every eight days. Half a hour per workout.

My eating habits need to improve. No more McDonalds on the night shifts. Now that the halloween candy is on it's last throws, that won't be a big issue either.

Financial - deep breath. I'm not in trouble, but I like stability and that's not where I am right now. Sure, we just moved and have had a lot of expenses lately. My wife still wants to buy a sectional couch, do a dozen improvement projects, etc, etc. I like to keep a cushion of $10,000 and climbing.

It was there, but I see that goal slipping further and further away.

I might get a cheque for $5000 for some taxes that I filed a grievance for. Then again, I might not.

I might get my book published and get some extra income that way. Then again, I might not.

I should get a raise in January if everything goes well.

So there's plenty to be optimistic about. I'm clamoring to the next level, to get some debt paid off. I've two little ones that absorb the majority of my time off.

It's the life of the Dad in the new city, in the new job, without enough friends.

We need a Mrs. Lee, and that will be the subject of my next blog. I've finally figured out something to write about. All I needed was a good rant to get me going.

Satire - Refugees Shun Canada

2009-12-10T13:48:00.003Z

Recently, calls have been made to try Robert Mugabe for crimes against humanity in a rape campaign he allegedly masterminded during the previous election.

It's no secret that Zimbabweans, whose government led by Robert Mugabe, have been brutalized, raped, murdered and abused for years by their government. Zimbabweans often seek asylum abroad, in countries where governments don't terrorise and abuse people. Countries who seek justice against indescretions. Canada was once one of the countries they flocked to. This is no longer the case.

"After seeing Zimbabwe's government commit, or be complcit in attrocities, Zimbabweans wanted to go to Canada to get away from it. What do we find here, a Conservative government who also refuses to try their own MPs for being war criminals," says Micheal from Zimbabwe

Michael continues. "Seeing Peter MacKay up there, guilty of War Crimes and slandering anyone who dares speak out against him, calling them Taliban sympathizers. It's like we're back in Zimbabwe. I don't know why we left. It's the same thing. More and more people stand up for the truth. The government becomes more and more vicious. Scarier still, the Canadian government poll results are going up!"

John, a survivor of the Tutsi genocide in Rwanda, also draws parallels. "I see comments from Canadians, saying it's okay to torture people and transfer them into abuse, rape, and murder, because they're Afghans, because they must be associated with the Taliban. It reminds me of Rwandan Radio the day the genocide started. "Kill the cockroaches," they said, referring to us Tutsis. 'Kill the Taliban, because any Afghan arrested must be associated with the Taliban,' is what I hear now."

Meanwhile, other Africans compare the current Canadian government to Apartheid South Africa. They say that during apartheid, black political movements were ridiculed, slandered, oppressed. Just like what the Conservatives tried to do to Barack Obama during the primaries when someone leaked confidential information to undermine Obama's campaign.

But the comparisons to Obama is the lesser evil. That's politics. Other parallels between apartheid and the Canadian government is even scarier.

Neslon Mandela spent 13 years exiled from the South African mainland on Robbin Island.
Abousfian Abdelrazik, the Sudanese Canadian who mysteriously appeared on a terrorist blacklist, was harassed by Canadian authorities. Abdelrazik was exiled from Canada for seven years.

The parallels are terrifying. In fact, in many ways, South Africa at least was known to treat it's prisoners humanely. They dealt with them internally, not renditioning torture to rogue regimes like Sudan, where torture is commonplace. Do you think Mandela would be alive today if South Africa handed him over to be imprisoned somewhere like Sudan?

John from Rwanda also offers his opinion on Abdelrazik. "In Rwanda, it was innocent until proven Tutsi. In Abdelrazik's case, it was innocent until proven Muslim. He's lucky to be alive. Arar, too. Scarily, they still don't have enough evidence to arrest them. Perhaps that's the one bright spot for Canada, as much as their government are criminals, at least the Canadian police show some independant thought in following procedures. They're not government lackeys like in Zimbabwe and Rwanda. Although who knows what will happen if the Tories get a majority..."

Satire - UK Hoteliers right to Mock Muslim Guests

2009-12-08T16:36:00.005Z

In the recent BBC news article, "Christian hotelier 'abused' Muslim guest" a court case is being heard regarding two Christian Hoteliers who verbally abused a Muslim woman.

The Muslim woman claims it was because she was wearing a hijab head covering and gown.

Outside the courtroom, members of campaign group "The Christian Institute" demonstrated in support of the Christian couple.

"It's absolutely ludicrous, that in this day and age, a woman covers her hair up for religious purposes. It's sickening. It's a form of bondage," one Christian is reported to have said.

Below are some pictures of women covering their heads, showing just how wrong, disgusting, and inappropriate it is in today's day and age to oppress women and destroy their self esteem.

You Tell Santa!

2009-12-06T17:59:00.005Z

Zack, with his Toys R Us flyer, goes to see Santa. His big dark eyes grow wide as he sees the man in the red suit sitting in the high-back brownchair. "Santa," he shouts, wiggling to get past the other kids. Zack's mother and father wrestle with him, getting his jacket off. His father holds him and pays for some photos to be taken. He orders Christmas cards. His mother holds Zack's baby sister, hushing her as she wails. Finally, its Zack's turn. He goes up to see Santa, Santa has Zack's sister on one knee, and Zack on the other.

"Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Chistmas. And what's your name little boy."
"I'm Zack, that's my sister Alia."
"And what would you like for Christmas this year Zack."
"I'm glad you asked Santa, here it is. I want the Batman - The Brave and the Bold toy for Christmas. In case you're confused, I brought a picture. It's right here, no wait, on the other side, yes, right here. Now I don't want any of your elves skimping. I know their tricks. I don't want some cheap, dollar store, flea market souq Batman. I want the real deal, the Brave and the Bold. In case you're not sure how to make it, look at the picture. They sell them at Toys R Us. It's the one with the cape that expands as you crank its arm. I know the deal. I'll leave you some cookies cuz I know you big guys like sugary stuff. The gym is a couple doors down by the way, I know a good personal trainer if you want to work the Christmas cookies off afterwards. Oh, thanks, that's very nice, a colouring book and a candy cane. Merry Christmas."
"Smile for the photo!"
"Next!"

Satire - Afghans, Native Americans, and Palestinians Apologize to Stephen Harper

2009-12-04T20:31:00.004Z

Afghan detainees, who were transferred into conditions of torture, rape, and even murder, have apologized for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"We see a place like Tibet, where the Chinese government has taken their territory and claimed sovereignty over them, and we see how lucky we are to have Canada and Europe as our occupiers," said Omar Khan, humiliated Kandahar civilian who was rounded up by Canadian soldiers in a security sweep and later tortured, raped and beaten. His brother is still missing.

"The humiliations we faced were mere inconveniences compared to what the Chinese have done to Tibetans. The Chinese brought horrible things such as economic stability, policing, and investment to Tibet. We are proud that our occupier, Canada, is standing up to these Chinese aggressors."

"Elections are the way to go," Omar Khan continued. "Democracy is so much better than Communism. China should look at Afghanistan as a role model of democracy!"

Native Indians, who were also the subject of humiliations, such as having their families ripped apart and the children sent into schools where they faced rape and beatings, think Canada is doing the right thing standing up to the Tibetan occupiers.

"It's wrong to steal land from people. It's wrong to force your culture on other people, and exploit their resources and land," said Native Indian, fermented potato on the Rocks.

Palestinians too, who have criticized Stephen Harper in the past for his staunch support of Israel, and for his refusal to condemn Israeli aggression even while they were committing war crimes, have come round to fully support Stephen Harper in his bid to lambaste China for their Tibetan exploits.

"You have to stand up for what's right?" said Palestinian Omar Bin Lyin. "Flooding a country with another culture, just because that other culture has more advanced weapons and technology, is wrong! Even if those cultures, and a power struggle, go back thousands of years, it shouldn't be put up with, ever. That's why I support Stephen Harper in his quest to right the wrongs China has committed."

Tuesday Travails

2009-12-01T16:52:00.002Z

It's about that time the mail arrives. I no longer get excited about the mail, even though I'm expecting a half dozen pieces of good news, or, in some cases, closure.

Still, I can't quite shake that feeling of disappointment each time I open the mail box, fully expecting to find nothing important, and finding just that. Bills, depressing bank statements, or threatening letters by people who want to kill me.

Okay, I made that last part up. But I'm working on it.

I want some closure mail in knowing my wife's taxes are done, and we can proceed with a subsidy request for daycare. We're now at about fourteen weeks (it's supposed to take six, but can take 10-12 weeks for first time filers.)

Closure in knowing that Alia has a birth certificate and we can proceed ordering her a passport.

Good news that I got a story published.

Great news that someone wants to publish my book.

Amazing news that I placed a story competition, albeit the least likely so far.

The only slightly welcome mail over the past months has been the Men's Health Magazine I subscribe to. With some recent contest submissions, I'm apparently now subscribed to three literary journals too, which will match Men's Health in my delight of getting something to read that isn't depressing, then again, have you read some of the stories in the literary journals?

Some stories are just depressing in an alcohilc downward spiral kind of way. Others are depressing because they are so damn good, and I think to myself, can I write like that? Does my story stand a chance beside this one in a competition. No, Damn it! Well, maybe my best story, if I work on it. Speaking of which, time to get cracking.

Satire - Defending Peter MacKay

2009-11-29T02:44:00.004Z

If, in some way, there was incompetence in this whole unfortunate Afghan Prisoner Transfer affair, it certainly wasn't Peter Mackay's fault.

In 2006, Peter MacKay was very busy with important things, such as being one of Canada's most eligable bachelors and fueling rumours of a spark between him and Condoleeza Rice, which, consequently was while Canadian policies in Afghanistan inadvertantly led to prisoners being tortured, raped, and perhaps even murdered. With so many emails to respond to, answering romantic questions and even, possibly, wooing an important Republican woman, it's perfectly understandable if he missed a few minor details, such as the fact that his policies were responsible for war crimes.

But there were other factors that are equally to blame. For instance, Condoleeza Rice wasn't the only woman knocking at the door. There was another, certain well known blonde woman vying for his attention. Yes, we all know who I'm talking about.

Elizibeth May!

That accursed woman should not have been running against him in his home riding in Central Nova. Peter Mackay had important things to do that didn't involve trying to convince the people in his riding that there is no such thing as Global Warming.

With so many door calls, emails, letters, phone calls, single Republicans, and a hippi-looking, wild-haired tree hugger vying for Peter Mackay's attention, it is perfectly understandable for his busy staff to have missed a message or two from Richard Colvin, or the Red Cross, or the Afghan Independant Human Rights Commission. So what? We all make mistakes at work. It's not a big deal if he took his hand off the wheel while his policies inadvertantly led to Afghan civilians being detained, beaten, raped, tortured, and perhaps even murdered.

And if those humiliated victims of abuse happened to get out of jail, it certainly isn't Peter Mackay's fault if they decided to join the Taliban, fuel the resistance, tip the balance in favour of the Taliban, who in turn killed dozens of Canadian and coalition soldiers and led the British and some other countries to label Afghanistan a lost cause.

We should not blame Peter MacKay for this.

Instead, we should be blaming Condoleeza Rice and Elizabeth May. For if they hadn't been distracting him with their assets, he could have spent less time worrying about his political career and more time focusing on the job at hand.

Furthermore, his staff should have been screening his emails and passing important messages onto him. So it is also there fault for not letting him know he was a war criminal.

It's also George Bush, Stephen Harper's, Syria's, and Sudan's fault. They started this whole torture thing. In fact, they made torture routine, turning it into an important issue. With the US torturing a Canadian citizen in Guantanimo (with our permission), Sudan torturing a Canadian citizen in Khartoum(at our request), and Syria having just finished torturing a Canadian citizen in Damascus(at America's request), what's good enough for our own citizens is certainly good enough for Afghans, right?

And while we're at it, where was Canada's opposition? They're the ones who are supposed to be making sure Peter Mackay does his job. If anyone is responsible for war crimes committed in Afghanistan, it's the Liberals and the NDP, who should have been shouting at Peter Mackay in question period the moment these allegations came to light.

As you can see, their are a lot of people to blame for the war crimes Canada is responsible for in Afghanistan, and none of them are Peter Mackay.

The Afghan Prisoner Scandal - Why Canada should follow through

2009-11-24T15:50:00.004Z

Canada should call an impartial public inquiry into the transfer of Afghan prisoners, who were allegedly transferred into conditions that contradict the Geneva convention and are illegal under international law. International laws of the Geneva convention are also prosecutable under Canadian law. Should an impartial public inquiry take place and the evidence gathered indicates that trials should go forward, the ICC and the Canadian courts should pursue these crimes with their full means and authority.

At the very least, it looks like Canadian officials, from the Minister of Defence Peter Mackay to top military brass, might be found guilty of negligence in the transfer of Afghan prisoners. At worst, they are guilty of intentionally transferring those prisoners into conditions that contradict the Geneva convention, including torture, rape, and possibly even murder.

It's important this issue gets fully examined and taken through the course of the law. Firstly, this is important because Canada can't criticize other countries such as Sudan and Zimbabwe, who's leaders flaunt and break international law at will, while our own governments are not held accountable for their misdeeds.

Furthermore, the victims of this injustice, some of which may have been Taliban, others who may have joined the Taliban as a result of being humiliated by torture, rape, etc, would see this as a step toward justice.

If we don't hold our leaders accountable, how can we expect Afghanistan's government to do the same. By not seeking justice, we are allowing the Afghan government to point to Canada as an example and say, "Hey, they stonewalled justice and aren't accountable for their crimes, then neither are we."

A full inquiry, and if Canadians are found guilty, then a conviction, lets Muslim extremists around the world know that Canada goes into Afghanistan with high morals and principles and we prosecute those who break the law.

Justice gives Afghan people a reason to trust us. Injustice gives them fodder to recruit more extremists to kill our brave soldiers, our men and women who put their lives on the line. We owe it to Afghanistan. We owe it to our soldiers. We owe it to ourselves as a country with impeccable morals and traditions, to seek justice.

As Stephen Harper would say, we need to "shine light into dark corners" of government affairs.

Revisiting the Afghan Transfer Agreement

2009-11-21T16:01:00.002Z

What amazes me is how long it's taken for the media, and the opposition parties, to really grab hold of this story. These aren't new revelations.
What's scary is it shows how impotent Canada's opposition parties are. They've sat on this story for more than two years, and have done little to bring the government to account over actions that arguably constitute war crimes!

This is my post from more than two years ago.

Let's get some things straight. Unlike the Conservative government would try and have you believe, taking shots at government incompetence and their complicity in torture is NOT the same as taking shots at Canadian soldiers on the front lines doing their duty. Canadian soldiers were following protocol. They were told to deliver prisoners somewhere, and the agreement was to deliver them in good faith to Afghan Authorities. Top military brass can in some ways be held accountable, but again, who do the top military brass answer to? The minister of Defence. Again, in no way are Canadian soldiers responsible for incompetent government policy.

Had the Canadian soldiers themselves been abusing detainees, like in AbuGharib, then yes, we would be responsible and we would have a military scandal more than a political one.

But this is nothing like AbuGharib. The only parallel is that instead of soldiers committing crimes, it was Canada's top brass, our Minister of Defence and the Prime Minister himself who knew of the torture, rape, and abuse and waited over a year and a half to take action!

Our soldiers are the victims here. These protocols led to a far more dangerous situation, a complete lack of trust in Kandahar. You can't claim to be trying to win the hearts and minds of the Afghan people, then go and turn those same people over to the humiliation of human rights abuses.

Our government, plain faced, stands up and says how dare people insult our military. They go on to claim there's no way they could know of such conditions occurring. How could they not know? Anybody reading a newspaper knew. The Red Cross complained of Canada not informing them of prisoner transfers for months after they'd taken place. It was stonewall after stonewall by the Canadian Government!

It's unfortunate we have such an impotent opposition in the House of Commons. Dion did little if anything to bring this scandal to the attention of Canada. Ignatieff seems to have all but disappeared, whether he's now hiding from his own words supporting torture, or he's just a lame duck I don't know. His silence is scary.

I do agree with one thing, there shouldn't be a public inquiry. Instead, the ICC should look into these allegations and decide whom, if anyone, in Canada's government should be brought to trial for war crimes.

2012

2009-11-18T03:22:00.002Z

I'm fascinated by doomsday, by prophets and prophecies warning us against the inevitable doomsday. They've had Nostradamus documentaries on the history channel all week, and with the movie 2012 coming out, the believers are probably crapping their pants right now.

But, in the next decade or two, if not by 2012, some major changes in the world are going to take place.

We might hit peak oil, if we haven't already, and demand will outstrip supply, driving prices soaring.

But oil isn't the only product in danger. Fertilizer ingredients, potash, etc, is an even more scary prospect.

Thanks to our manipulation of finite resources, improved health care, and this burning economic thirst to have more more more, we are using up the world's resources at breakneck pace. A tipping point has to come.

I'm always been fascinated by government's fear of recession, and how they will go to great lengths to avoid that horrible word. But, the more they delay, spend, offset, and gerrymander the economy to keep in that full steam ahead mode, the harder the crash is going to be. It's kind of like continually eating sugar to keep up your energy while running a marathon. Eventually, your just going to crash, and crash hard!

Has the tipping point come?

The price of phosphates, a major ingredient in fertilizer, has increased fourteen fold since 2007. Which means demand has been outstripping supply. If we reach the point where phosphates become prohibitively expensive, or we can't mine enough to continually boost our farming production, could the world begin starve? Could we not be able to produce enough food to feed ourselves? Could the world's population actually decrease! Could this start happening in 2012? Is that what Nostradamus' prediction meant?

Think about it. A 10% drop in world population. An economist's nightmare. That's 10% fewer consumers. That's 10% less productivity. In countries like Canada, who have been growing our consumer base through immigration, a sudden drop off might mean back to back to back quarterly GDP decreases, continual annual GDP decreases. Recession. Depression.

Or will a giant meteor crash into the earth. Perhaps Nostradamus understood something about the Cosmos we don't. Perhaps every thirty thousand years we pass through some mine field of galactic meteor waste, and Nostradamus figured it out. I doubt Bruce Willis will drill a hole and set off a nuclear bomb if a Meteor is coming. It'll hit us before we know what happened.

Or maybe the cosmos, some galactic line up of planets with the earth, will trigger massive volcanic and tectonic activity.

Maybe HIV will morph into an airborne disease and decimate us.

Perhaps it will be the bird flu, SARS, Ebola.

The Day After Tomorrow - Damn, Canada got hit hard in that movie. Al Gore, help!

Or, scariest of all, Sarah Palin.

Oh, wait, phew, she won't get in until at least 2013.

Perhaps Nostradamus was wrong after all...

Ranting about waiting, and other things.

2009-11-18T02:38:00.003Z

I feel like I'm waiting, indefinitely, for things that never seem to happen. I filed Siham's taxes about twelve weeks ago. I was told it would take six weeks.

I sent half a dozen different stories to different magazines and journals, and am waiting for an answer. Publish me, yes, or no.

I did get published several months ago, and I'm still waiting for my copy of the magazine to arrive.

My manuscript, Siham's taxes, Alia's birth certificate, that magazine I got an article published in, a date to start training for my new job.

Every morning I check the mail. What do I get. Bills, usually. The odd survey. A "baby come back" message from Bell Canada every so often, and bank statements.

Speaking of waiting, if Bell is waiting for me to come back, they might be waiting longer than I've been waiting for, err, I mean, forever.

I don't think I'll be going back to Bell. If they are spamming me biweekly with letters, then that is part of their ad campaign. Their ad campaign translates to higher costs for their services. I hear they just overpaid a boatload of cash to become the 2010 Winter Olympics soul telecommunications advertiser. When I find out a company spends billions on advertising, and isn't doing very well financially, it tends to push me toward the competition. Especially if their commercials are annoying.

But moreover, Bell only price matches after they've lost a customer. Oops, you left us, well we can offer you that rate too...

Then why didn't you when I asked you too match it?

I don't really like Bell commercials. They're not as good as Rogers, with the guy (presumably with Bell) who keeps getting one upped by the cooler looking guy with a Rogers phone plan.
IMO, they're one of my favourites, although not nearly as good as the gum commercial where a goat rams into a guys nuts or a Polka band kicks another guys ass, but they're pretty good.

I don't really remember any Bell commercials. I think there's one where there's a party in a Bell sign, but that's it.

Perhaps instead of a Bell sign party, they'll get a goat ramming some guy with a Rogers phone in the nuts and use the line, "Finish your contract and start using another phone already."

Hmm, doesn't work as well as it does with the gum.

No Rules Poetry

2009-11-13T20:10:00.003Z

Up to now, my poetry doesn't stretch much beyond the Dr. Seuss meets Sam McGee rhyming that I love to read and attempt to write. That's my comfort zone.
I have this feeling that I don't get other poetry. I mean I sometimes get it, in meaning, on some level, but not the style, the rules.

But there are no real rules, it's just expression. Which is why it doesn't really move me, rarely anyway.

I started reading poetry in literary journals, and perhaps it's got something to do with my short attention span, but it just doesn't click. It's often like trying to puzzle through how a poet has broken up sentences on separate lines.

Here's a poem I wrote. I don't claim it is good. But it's my first attempt at non-structured poetry. My goal, in part, was to get my message across with as few words as possible.

Remembrance Day Canada 2009

Heroic
With disgraces, too.
Perpetual claims of,
Role model status.
Shameful Japanese internment.
Jews not the only ones.
And today we remember,
With sayings
Lest We Forget,
We will Remember them,
Our follies too?
A Flanders Street of pricking felt
Have we forgotten?
Lessons of fathers
Grand and great
Damaged souls,
Bodies decaying.
Rats the size of cats.
We live free, unless,
Accused of terror,
Innocent until proven accused.
Of sympathy for suffering kin?
Arar, Abdelrazik, Khadr
Syria, Sudan, Guantanamo
Abandoned by government.
Extraordinary internment.
Never forget the sacrifice.
Of soldiers not principles.

Rumour: Balsille to Create Rival League(s)

2009-11-09T23:03:00.004Z

Is it possible that Canadian billionaire and hockey enthusiast, Jim Balsillle, is seriously considering either forming, or joining and backing, a hockey league that will rival the NHL?

Jim Balsille has been spurned three times by the NHL for trying to buy franchises and relocate them to Southern Ontario, first in Pittsburgh, then in Nashville, and finally and most bitterly, in Phoenix.

With the financial clout of multi billion dollar RIM behind him, and Balsille's obvious desire to own a hockey franchise, does he have the will to carry this through? If he does, it might spell serious trouble for the NHL.

One source outlined some juicy pieces of hearsay about the rival league, and suggested that its likely form will include interconnected leagues to build off a system widely used throughout Europe.

This means that teams will be able to play up and play down from the top league. Essentially, a last place team in the premier league will drop down to a feeder league, while a first place team in the feeder league could move up to the premier league. This could go several layers deep. In European soccer, for instance, there are more than six divisions.

Such a setup makes sense for a guy like Balsille, who like the millions of hockey fans and players throughout North America and the world, never made it to the spotlight in their teens, but retained romantic notions of moving their way up through leagues to make it into the spotlight. A guy with some talent and determination in a city leauge could be fighting his way up to fourth, to third, to second division teams. It could also bring higher level hockey to cities throughout North America and Europe and add a mythical quality to teams who push their way up the ranks to get noticed and make it to the NHL. Furthermore, it could be a proving grounds for young coaches and trainers hoping to get noticed by creating something from nothing.

The rumoured new leagues would include teams in both North America and Europe. Possible European cities include St Petersburg and Moscow in Russia, Stockholm in Sweden, Helsinki in Finland, Prague in Czech Republic, and with the possibility of expansion into Belarus, France, Switzerland, Germany, and England.

In North America, markets in Southern Ontario, Quebec City, Winnipeg, New York City, Los Angeles, Washington and Montreal make sense, with the possibility of expansion into Western Canada and one or two other US markets.

The league, which is still very much a rumour, would likely offer higher salaries than the current, salary cap limited NHL, particularly to upcoming talent in order to woo them away from the National Hockey League.

It's not hard to see just where the speculative new leagues could exploit weaknesses in the NHL system:

Firstly, NHL rookie salaries are limited to $900,000, and with almost half of the NHL's teams losing money last year, and with a rival league eating into revenues further, a stronger, financially backed league could offer higher startup salaries to top young talent. They could also poach any star not under contract and offer them ten million or more per season, matching their true worth, while NHL teams would battle to fit players under the salary cap.

Another factor favouring a start up league could be that players could be woed into playing in front of their hometown/provinces/country crowds. The upside of an NHL player signing with a team from his country or own province/state of origin would not only be a higher salary, but also better sponsor income via local businesses would certainly enhance a player's earning power. Teams too would strengthen drawing power with hometown heroes.

As good as it sounds, there are definite hurdles for a new rival league. Primarily, the NHL has a strong brand and player loyalty, and cracking that would be challenging. The new league would feel the pinch, especially in the early going when players are locked in contracts to NHL franchises. The barrier of NHL players having a preference for the NHL brand and being wary of breaking away from the NHL is also formidable.

Here's a list of free agents for the upcoming 2010 season.

A few big names include Patrick Kane, Robert Luongo, Kovalchuck, Rick Nash, Nabakov, Jokinen, Toews, Cam Ward and Selanne.

That's where marketing could be key, and starting soon. If the new league could put the idea into the players, and the fans minds that "A better paying, more dynamic, exciting product is coming, and instead of Phoenix vs Florida, Nashville vs Columbus, and Tampa vs Atlanta, we could be playing Moscow vs New York, Sweden vs Toronto, Paris vs Montreal, etc. Just like a new political leader might rejuvinate a party, a new league might reinvigorate disenfranchised hockey fans who are tired of the NHL song and dance.

It's been suggested that the league could eventually open up to a mid season tournament like soccer's FA cup in England, where minnows, lower division teams who qualify, can turn giant killers and upset top level teams. Such a tournament could raise the status of local teams, such as a team from Halifax, Regina or Kingston, and broaden the fan base for the sport in non-traditional markets such as Phoenix and Nashville where slow but steady success and exposure could eventually create a fan base to support a competitive team at the top level.

Truth or rumour? Time will tell.

Broken Pencil

2009-11-05T20:35:00.002Z

My Google Link says - The guide to alternative culture in Canada, features reviews of hundreds of zines, e-zines, journals, chap-books and newsletters from across the country.

It's a pretty mish mash magazine with several sections.

It starts with ranting bloggish stories. And I mean that in a kindly, Rant Like Rick Mercer kind of way. Many have an artsy theme to them.

It has a few articles and exposes on people and events of creative and artistic interest.

Some Comics and artwork.

The major article in the issue in front of me is Crafts in the Economy, talking about things like knitted Ipod cases and DIY products.

There is a section with fiction, which is one of the more entertaining in the magazine. The stories range from disturbing with gratuitous, risque and graphic sex to quirky and a bit weird. The stories are well written and descriptive with generally troubled characters, or characters in a real life, awkward situation.

The second half of the magazine is dedicated to reviews, ezines, zines, journals, chapbooks and more.

Canadian Stories Magazine

2009-11-05T20:03:00.003Z

Canadian Stories Magazine is pretty self explanatory. A folk magazine written by or about Canadians.

Unlike a lot of Magazine websites, Canadian Stories describes what they're looking for.

Here's a link to their editor's corner.

One of the things I like about Canadian Stories is that it's not so literary as to appeal to only the most distinguished, bizarre, and, ahem, literary of authors. They generally don't pay for accepted material, but do have some worthwhile contests.

Canadian Literary Magazines

2009-11-05T19:55:00.003Z

Here's a list of some Canadian Literary magazines I got from the Kingston Writers Festival.

Literary magazines usually say they want people to be familiar with their work before they submit. If you're familiar with the materials in any of these magazines, please feel free to send me a short blurb on the type of work they publish. Over the next little while, I'll try to provide links and descriptions of some of the magazines I've happened to read.

I'm asking for blurbs so I, and other readers and writers who come across my blog, can narrow down the magazines they choose to become familiar with and purchase, both for interest, and for the intention of submitting to.

Antigonish Review
Arc Poetry
Brick
Broken Pencil
Canadian Stories
The Capilano Review
CV2
Dalhousie Review
Dandelion
Descant
Echolocation
Event
Exilefreefall
Geist
Grain
Lake
Literary Review of Canada
Maisonneuve
Malahat Review
Matrix
Mosaic
Nashwaak Review
The New Quarterly
Notebook
Outlook
Pilot
Prairie Fire
PRISM International
Public
Qwerty
Rampike
Rhubarb
Ricepaper
Room
Screwdriver
SubTerrain
Taddle Crek
Vallum
Vancouver Review
West Coast Line
White Wall Review
Windsor Review

Satire - Vote for the Conservative Party of Canada

2009-11-05T18:44:00.005Z

Dear Canadians

Unlike the tax and spend Liberal opposition, the Conservative Party of Canada (CPC) is not only the right choice, but should be the only choice going into Canada’s future.

Do you want some godless, tax and spend Liberals leading your country? No, of course not. You want the righteous spend and spend Conservatives putting more and more money in your pockets, and taking less and less out.

That’s why Stephen Harper reduced the GST. So that when you buy a candy bar, you have an extra two cents to store away. And why not put that money in a tax free savings account, or a tax free educational fund, or a tax-deductable housing improvement allowance? (Which the socialist, godless, tax and spend Liberals voted against.) Because as we gradually take taxes off everything, you’ll have more and more money to spend, and even though it will have to be paid off by your children and grandchildren for centuries to come in the future, at least you’ll have a cool new I-pod to play in your gas guzzling SUV.

Let’s take a moment to remind voters what the Conservative party has done for Canada, and why voting Conservative is the best option for the future.

The Red Carpet

The CPC’s star friends list includes a hero of many Conservative constituents; the right honourable George

Walker Bush and his associates Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and Karl Rove. As close friends with Canada’s Prime Minister, (GWB calls him Stevie) and long time allies, the Conservative Party of Canada (CPC) is well practiced in showing how awful other parties are and how the right wing neo-con agenda is always right. We are proud to be acquainted with some of the most distinguished Conservative political minds of our era.

Star Talent

Stephen Harper’s incredible talent began to show when he was leader of the opposition. As early as 2001 he showed his ability to commit long speeches to memory by repeating word for word a speech given by Australian Prime Minister John Howard. In front of parliament, he used the speech to give an impassioned plea for Canada to join George Bush's Coalition of the Willing, and invade Iraq, a sovereign country, without UN permission. In doing this, Mr. Harper was trying to show Canadian strength, and prove that nobody can dictate Canadian policy but Canada, even if in direct contravention of international law.

As opposition leader, Stephen Harper questioned robust scientific evidence of Global Warming. In doing so, he rightly put short term economic gain far above any remote possibility that our carbon emissions might create conditions for human extinction.

Conservative Party Successes

As Prime Minister, Stephen Harper outshone all other international leaders by abandoning Canada’s international obligations to the Kyoto treaty, first at the G8 summit, then at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation Summit (APEC) and again at the Commonwealth Summit. He went on to make Canada the first country to completely abandon its Kyoto targets, and Canada is now the largest per-capita polluter among the G8 countries and we refuse to commit to any significant carbon reducing goals.

Showing the ability to not only plagiarize, but to adapt and reword, Stephen Harper introduced the Clean Air Act, legislation that would allow Canada’s global warming emissions to increase without any repercussions, and very similar to the Bush legislation known as the Clear Skies initiative.

Stephen Harper is truly a leader to be reckoned with on the international stage. He gave Canada a respectable image among some of Canada’s closest and most important allies - hard line Zionist groups. He did this by abandoning Canada’s traditional peaceful role in the Middle East and staunchly supporting Israel's 2006 invasion of Lebanon. He showed his ability to stay the course when he maintained his stance during their collective punishment of all Lebanese people, despite a growing international outcry. More than a year later, he continued to show his unflinching support for Canada’s most important ally, Israel, (formerly the USA, but not anymore since it is now run by a double talking negro man with obvious terrorist roots, ahem, middle name Hussein). Harper showed his support for Israel again when they invaded and occupied the Gaza Strip in 2009. While Israel arbitrarily committed war crimes against Palestinians, the Canadian PM stood strong, refusing to condemn them. In a more recent act of political solidarity, the Canadian government refused entry to British MP George Galloway, who shockingly supported the Gazan people via a mission of mercy to give them food and other basic necessities after many of their homes and livelihoods had been destroyed. This is the type of consistency we feel Canada deserves on the international stage.

Our proud, honorable, economist PM not only oversaw the largest Canadian stock market crash since the Great Depression in the 1930s, but presided over the largest one day, one week, and monthly drops in the Canadian Stock market ever! He reassured panicked investors as they watched their life savings disappear.

After having governed while the Toronto Stock Exchange lost over 40% of its value, Stephen Harper went onto lay blame against the alarmist and angry, not to mention godless, tax and spend opposition, accusing them of deflating the stock market by a further few percentage points via their criticism of the CPC’s management of the crisis.

During this obvious and internationally recognized economic crisis, Stephen Harper reassured Canadians that our economy was still strong even though the Toronto Stock Exchange had crashed 20% more than the NYSE at that same point.

Continuing with The CPC’s impressive economic record, we’re proud to announce that the CPC has reversed the former Liberal Government’s completely unnecessary budget surpluses within three years and set the stage for deficit governance for years to come.

Late in 2008, the CPC put partisanship anger over economic turmoil and proposed a budget that served to unite the opposition against Stephen Harper. Stephen Harper then showed his ability to adapt to changing circumstances. Many CPC supporters believe that a good leader must change as circumstances change, and not be afraid to take on a new course (even though when other the parties do it they are uncertain, baby killing flip-floppers.) In 2003, Stephen Harper tried to convince Jean Chretien to join an illegal coalition to overthrow Iraq’s leader and divide their nation. In 2008, when faced with similar, albeit less violent circumstances, a completely legal coalition threatening the CPC leadership, Stephen Harper took brave steps and launched a full-fledged verbal attack on the very institution he was sworn to protect.

Stephen Harper went on to become the first Prime Minister in Canadian history who, when presented with a confidence motion he was sure to lose, prorogued parliament, thus by ensuring seven weeks of complete government inaction during a global economic crisis.

Stephen Harper and the CPC have in the past reached out to gain the support of opposition parties. They showed their ability for bipartisanship when, in return for massive transfer payments to Quebec, they obtained the support of the Bloc Quebecois during Stephen Harper’s first term in power.

Unfortunately, Stephen Harper had to withdraw his generous transfer payments when those backstabbing, ungrateful separatists no longer supported the Conservative agenda. Stephen Harper then, staving off an opposition coalition, cleverly convinced many Canadians of his version of the truth when he said, "The highest principle of Canadian democracy is that if one wants to be prime minister, one gets one's mandate from the Canadian people and not from Quebec separatists."

Taken straight from George W Bush’s economic plan, Stephen Harper cut taxes and then went on the biggest spending spree in Canada’s history. But he did make tough decisions for much needed cuts. The CPC supporters are proud of how Stephen Harper slashed spending via the budget for Canada’s Food Safety Inspection. While the cutbacks took time to be implemented, and directly resulted in a major food poisoning outbreak that killed seventeen people and caused Canadians to lose faith in the packaged meat industry, they are working well otherwise.

Stephen Harper showed his ability to manage the CPC and make tough decisions when he kicked Garth Turner out of the Conservative party for blogging his views, which is behaviour completely out of line with modern Conservative politics. Stephen Harper later fired conservative candidate Mark Warner for his interest in social issues concerning local residents. He went on to show his strong leadership ability to control the Conservative party in tough times by banning Conservative MPs from unauthorized media interviews.

Stephen Harper showed his ability to find the right man with the right experience for the job when he made Gordon O’Connor, a former lobbyist for military arms dealers, the minister of defence in charge of $15 billion in spending.

The Conservative Party of Canada has a proven track record for having the ability to backtrack, make tough decisions, and break campaign promises when deemed necessary. Some accomplishments not previously mentioned include.

Breaking a campaign promise on taxing income trusts.
Ignoring police advice and vowing to dismantle the gun registry after a fatal shooting in Montreal with registered weapons.
Promising a lean government, and then bloating the cabinet by fourteen more people, each with cars, drivers and support staff.
Leaking confidential diplomatic comments made by Barrack Obama in a bid to help right wing friends gain an advantage in the US primaries.

The CPC is most proud to announce how it has protected Canadians by ensuring that suspected terrorists such as black Sudanese-Canadian Abousfian Abdelrazik are out of the country as much as possible. Under the CPC, the Canadian government demanded his continued arrest, incarceration, and interrogation by a foreign government not only known for torture, but wanted by the International Criminal Court for genocide against Black Sudanese people. The government continued to refuse his reentry to Canada despite his being cleared by CSIS and the RCMP, because the CPC knows best.

Furthermore, during CPC rule, the borders have been tightened so much that even foreign-born Canadians, such as Suaad Mohamud from Somalia, have had their passports confiscated while trying to come home. The CPC has also ensured that Canadian passport and Immigration services are accountable to nobody. We are proud that the only possible recourse for Canadians in dire situations from Canadian government inaction overseas is by drawing massive media attention to their cases and getting lawyers to act on their behalf by dragging their issue in front of the slow and inefficient Canadian courts.

As you can see, the Conservative Party of Canada has been hard at work to make Canada prosperous, independent, and safe. Please vote wisely should an upcoming election be deemed necessary by the godless, baby killing, tax and spend Liberals, the jihad-loving, socialist NDP, and the ungrateful, backstabbing, separatist scum Bloc opposition parties.

Swine Flu Vaccination

2009-11-05T14:17:00.002Z

I got the swine flu vaccination last night.

I did it to protect six week old Alia more than to protect myself. If I'm immune, then I'm not bringing it into the house and endangering her.

Zack also got immunized. He cried, cuddled me, then got a bandaid and a chocolate.

When I was at the clinic there were several older people there too. I couldn't help but think, why are older people here? I was under the impression that priority went to those most vulnerable.

In the news this morning, the Calgary Flames allegedly jumped the queue in Alberta, and a health care worker was fired. Despite all the hoopla and anger, I might have done the same thing if I was the health care worker with friends in a high risk group. Not high risk of death, but of contracting the Swine flu. I think hockey players exist in an atmosphere where they are particularly vulnerable to catching the flu. As do health care workers, customer service representatives, and people who work in high-traffic environments where disease spreads rapidly. IMO, the government should be organizing priority lists, going into schools to do mass vaccinations, organizing with companies to set up times and clinics where at risk employees can get immunized, and making sure the most vulnerable are served first!

According to health experts, it's children 6 months to five years who are most vulnerable to the dangers of the swine flu, as well as people with underlying respiratory health issues, diabetes, and a few other specific health problems.

It's these people who were supposed to be immunized first, which is why I was somewhat surprised to see that seniors practically outnumbered younger people at the clinic where I went. I was under the impression that seniors are likely to be immune to the swine flu because they've lived through at least one pandemic in the past.

People over a certain age, I'm not sure what, were supposed to be low priority. As I glanced over the dozens of older patients (it took me about 40 minutes to get in) I coudn't help but feel they were overreacting and shouldn't be here.

I suppose I blame the clinic for sending them notices, or the government for not issuing the flu vaccines appropriately.

On the other hand, perhaps we're just at a stage now where the supply and demand are starting to intersect, and the only issue is having enough health care workers to give the vaccines out in a timely manner, thus the lingering line ups.

It's been 16 hours since my swine flu shot. My arm where I got the shot now hurts and I have a mild headache.

The Outrage Conundrum

2009-11-04T14:50:00.002Z

I find it funny, how, when something controversial comes up, it almost gains legitimacy and attention when people cry indignation, gather in protest, hold up angry signs and take their fight to the media.

Transexual Jesus Play

It just makes me want to see what's going on. It gives the people at the centre of the controversy massive free publicity. That translates into more money. So they can do an even better job of putting on a scandalous show in the future.

I'm almost tempted to make up a second, anonymous profile, pretend I'm someone else, and threaten myself with violence. Then I can go to the media, tell them someone wants to kill me for my views, and get national, or even international attention.

Let's see, what are some of the most controversial things I can say. I can call someone's prophet a transexual or a pedophile. That would generate plenty of hatred. Then again, I generally avoid blogging about religion other than to raise a point of interest.

Saying something nice about Hitler, or holocaust denial. That always stirs up controversy, although that would just make me one of countless neo-Nazi nutjobs fighting to have their racist voices heard over the internet.

I could insult Obama, but that would just make people think I'm a Republican who watches too much Fox news. I have to hit a nerve that hasn't really been hit.

Who is someone that everyone in the world loves? From both sides of the spectrum.

Yes, it's time for Nelson Mandela jokes!

A Japanese man knocks on Nelson Manela's door, waves a clipboard in Mandela's face and says, "Car parts in truck, you sign, you sign!"

After three or four instances of this throughout the week, Mandela, exasperated, says, "Who are you looking for? Why do you keep coming here?"

The Japanese man says, (in his thick Asian accent) "You mean you not Nissan Main Dealer."

Okay, I'm just not controversial enough. I'll have to work on that.

I've got it. "RAISE TAXES! RAISE TAXES! RAISE TAXES!"

Tax gas, tax the roads, tax the water, tax the air, tax food, tax babies, tax children, tax tax tax!

Okay, let the threats roll in...

The Tricks of Trick or Treating

2009-11-03T17:00:00.004Z

Later in the night, when all the little kids had returned home, some older kids rang our bell, impatiently, three times. It must have taken me too long to answer, for in the thirty seconds it took me to get to the door, they'd taken off to the next house.

I could hear our neighbour greeting them, and could hear her taking her time, "Oh, hi, and look and your costumes... Are you having a happy halloween? Let's seen now... I'll give you some of these, and oh, what else, maybe some chips, yep, let me see, how many more kids do you think will be coming, I have to make the candy last, hrmm..."
I could almost hear those impatient kids thinking out loud. "Hurry up lady, just give us the damn candy so we can race to the next house."

A definite mentality change develops as kids grow older. Earlier in the night, when I'd taken Zack and his friend to different houses, Zack would typically say, "Trick or Treat."
The person at the door would greet him, and smile kindly, and say "Hey its Superman!"
Zack would point at one of their decorations and say, "Hey, a spider web," or, "What's that, can I press the button too," or, "I'm superman, I can fly!"

He'd stare in awe at the glowing pumpkins, at the other kids costumes, at the decorations and everything. I had to remind him to say thank you, and bye, and remind him there was more candy to get at the next house, then gently guide him away.

It was a fun day, and I look forward to next year.

How the Cash for Clunkers should have worked.

2009-11-02T15:46:00.002Z

It shouldn't have been the cash for clunkers program. It should have been, "You better get your ass out and buy a car now, because we're going to tax the hell out of your gas guzzling cars through road taxes and gas hikes."

Alright, so "Cash for Clunkers" has a better ring to it. But it's a stupid idea that will continue to screw over the industry.

And yeah, a sudden tax shock to the system is a stupid idea, almost as stupid as a near bankrupt government giving out more free money. But announcing a gradual plan to increase taxes, while providing some incentives for buying green cars (I like green licence plates that get free parking, discounted road taxes and lower tolls.)

That's my idea. Oh, and the tax revenue from getting higher gas taxes can later be given as green car subsidies.

A government should plan to make money, not perpetually lose it. While I think Obama is great, this has been a major folly. It's Bush-style-soiled-band-aid-on-a-gushing-wound-type-solution.

US national debt as of today, approaching 12 trillion = $38,000 per person.

Ford Profits, Cash for Clunkers, is the Auto Sector in for very tough times ahead?

2009-11-02T15:15:00.002Z

Ford went from being the worst, to the best of the big three, which isn't saying much.

Their merger with Mazda several years ago, IMO, is what has kept them alive. Still, they are in trouble and recent successes and profits are only cosmetic.

They reported a one billion doller quarterly profit. If you take into account that the government incentive cost an average of $4000 per vehicle, then its scary to think of how much Ford would have lost without the incentive program.

Scarier still is the knock on effect this will have.

According to this article, The Cash for Clunkers program sold 125,000 out of the 700,000 cars that wouldn't have been sold otherwise.

In a normal cycle, 575,000 cars would have been sold.

Incentives, cut back, promotions, and the like have slowly killed the auto industry over the last decade. It's at the point where people don't want to buy unless there's some sort of sweet deal going on.

When the Cash for clunkers incentive program ends, what happens next?

If 125,000 future car purchases were pushed forward by prospective buyers this quarter, then you can assume that instead of a typical quarters 575,000 cars being sold, then 450,000 cars will be sold instead in the upcoming quarter. That's without the psychological effect. People who missed the cash incentives program might be holding out for another one.

I firmly believe these door buster deals are a huge contributing factor which killed the US auto sector. Sales spike with incentives (while auto companies profits are usually trimmed for the deals), then they slump by the same amount afterwards. It's common sense. It's like expecting sales on Thanksgiving week to compete with the following week.

I can guarantee you that the week after the US Thanksgiving week deals is the slowest week of the year. Most people who needed or wanted something already got it.

Same for the auto industry. They're in for more tough times ahead. The Cash for Clunkers might have given them a short term profit (at the expense of the American tax payer), but the pinch is coming big time. This time, the big question is, Is the auto industry prepared for another dramatic drop in sales?

When will a Politician just say what needs to be said?

2009-10-26T13:49:00.003Z

"If Mr. Ignatieff gets into power, he'll raise taxes! So don't vote for him."

I hate paying taxes as much as the next guy, but let me get something straight, either we raise taxes to pay for our massive stimulus spending, or we let the debt grow and have our children and grandchildren pay it off, possibly in the form of a defunct economy.

It's pretty common sense to me. It's like owning a house. What would you rather pay, larger sums over a few years and get rid of the debt, or tiny sums that just make the debt grow and grow and grow?

If the government raises taxes now and runs surpluses, our debt goes down, our payments go down. Take a big hit now so we don't feel an even bigger pinch down the road.

Once, just once, I'd like a politician to admit this. "Yes, I will raise taxes because we have to pay off our huge debt."

And it is huge!

My share alone is almost $15,000

A family of four, $60,000

And the national debt increasing by $1,700 every second!

http://www.debtclock.ca/

How do/did/would you pay your mortgage?

Walk in clinic poetry

2009-10-22T00:43:00.002Z

With a one month old baby, and a toddler, I don't get much writing done at home these days. I just sat down now, and we'll see how long it takes before my wife calls me to do something.

I was at the shopping mall walk in clinic today, and had to wait for an hour. In that hour, I wrote five poems.

The first poem was based on getting something stolen from me yesterday.

Thieving prick

They'll steal your last quarter
When you need to make a call
They'll steal your glass slippers
When your going to the ball.

They'll steal your favourite shirt
That matched your favourite vest
They'll even steal your heart meds
As you're grabbing for your chest.

They'll steal your sunscreen
On the hottest, most hellish day
They'll even steal your glasses
When you look the other way

They'll steal your tire iron
And at some point later on
When you're scrambling to change a flatty
You will notice that it's gone.

I'm fed up and I'm angry
I've had it through and through
So I better hide this poem.
Before they steal it too.

Woe to be a Leafs Fan

Oh Woe to be a Leafs fan
A bunch of useless bums
They've lost seven in a row.
Are they twiddling their thumbs?

In any normal year.
I'd have an ounce of hope
But that is long gone now,
And I'm feeling like a dope.

For if your team is in last place.
Then don't worry, here's the trick.
Next year will be better.
With a first overall draft pick.

Oh wait! Oh Crap! Oh Jeez!
I've terrible news today.
The GM of the Leafs.
He traded that pick away.

Oh well, there's always next season
Oh dear, oh no, oh boo!
That idiot GM.
Traded that pick away too!

Shhh!

Baby is sleeping!

Can I play with my car?

You can play with the car, but no beeping!

No beeping! Then can I play on the trampoline?

No way! There's to be no leaping!

No beeping and no leaping. Maybe the baby isn't sleeping. Can I go peeping?

No! You'll wake baby up.

I won't. I promise I'll go creeping.

No creeping, no peeping.

No creeping, no peeping, no beeping, no leaping?

Right!

What about sweeping?

No sweeping.

Good, I hate housekeeping.

The Bumpkin

One time in Morocco
In the early autumn
I saw pumpkins with big brown spots,
sticking out the bottom.

This most strange growth,
on the underside of these pumpkins
looked like tiny bums.
And so I called them little bumkins.

Writers Woes!

Tis a fight, when I want to write.
I have to get away from the house.
For when I'm there, and have a moment to spare,
I'm hounded by my spouse.

Move that box! Pick up your socks!
In the end though, I got the last laugh.
For when she was on the loo, taking a poo.
I typed a substandard paragraph.

The Baby Blog, Diapers and More

2009-10-06T14:20:00.002Z

In two weeks, my wife and I have gone through relatively few baby products for our newborn daughter. She's breastfed, so I can't comment on any forumulas.

To me, ever since Nestle's horrifying third world scandal, followed by paint scares, plastic bottle scares, and other infant formula scares, I'm jaded toward baby products in general.

Products for newborns are almost designed to be shoddy and poorly tested. When you shop for a newborn baby, it's not an ongoing process where you use the products for life. Baby products are one of the shortest term items you can find, chances are you buy it once, and by the time you need it again for a second child, you've forgotten which products are good and which aren't.

We've used two brands of diapers so far, Pampers Swaddlers, and Huggies Little Snugglers.

Pampers new baby Swaddlers worked well. They generally kept Alia dry and were easy enough to change.

Huggies Little Snugglers were more of a nightmare. If we leave Alia for more than three hours, chances are she's wet. The real issue here is, if a baby is sleeping for a few hours, parents want a break from changing. I don't want to have to wake up Alia, or in many cases, myself, just to change her every three hours. Furthermore, they have a wetness indicator to tell when it's time to change. The wetness indicator is pretty useless when you have to take an outfit off just to check it.

We've got some Kirkland brand downstairs that we haven't tried yet.

There is a huge range of toys designed for babies, and 99% of them are useless in the first month. In fact, as I've found with Zack, and my nephew, the majority of toys are useless. They get played with for a few minutes, usually when they are given, then they end up in a closet, a drawer, and eventually a charity bin.

Thinking back to Zack's bottles as we diversified his diet to include formula and soups, the best bottles were the playtex brand.

I have to admit though, as a man, buying anything playtex for a son is a little bit awkward. If anything, the company could have changed the damn name to something I don't associate with women's menstration cycles.

One problem I found with bottles was that, moving between Canada and Morocco for Zack, it was a nightmare trying to replace the tops. In fact, our first bottles were sent from France by Siham's sister. We had more than a dozen of bottles around the house, and no way to replace the nipples once they went.

Siham wanted a baby monitor with a television screen. I was skeptical, but the fact that the monitor can later double as a spying device or security camera makes it a neat investment.

The first brand of TV baby monitor I bought, for $150 at Toys R Us, had a clunky black and white screen, and was very loud. It clicked and clacked and had a lot of static. I took it back and bought the Lorex video monitor from Costco instead for $179.99.

It works well, although the wires to connect it to the television are pretty poor if you want some space between the monitor and the reach of a toddler. It takes more effort that I'm willing to put in right now, but you can in theory hook it up to the television and have it as that little window while you watch your favourite programs, assuming you have a modern television and can figure out those windows.

We bought a Graco stroller, one of the ones where you kick a locking device at the back to release the stroller, and push it down to lock it. They fold up smaller than the bigger, clunkier strollers, however I quickly found out that they're also more fragile.
The third time I went to use the stroller, one of the metal folding metal braces at the back snapped. I returned it and bought one of the big clunky Graco strollers instead.

The government puts a time limit on how long a baby seat is good for. This is something that's always annoyed me. It also irks me that that companies sell the exact same, identical child seats in both Canada and the US, except for two major differences. In the US, they have the American safety certificate instead of ours, and is therefore not legal here in Canada. The second difference is they are half the price across the border.

We have a swinging chair that we haven't used very much yet.

Swaddle me wraps came in pretty handy. The baby is supposedly used to being wrapped tightly in the womb, and for anyone who's not a proffessional nurse or baby care giver, figuring out how to swaddle a baby with blankets that are usually too small can be a nightmare. Swaddle me products take care of that with velcro nubs that equate to swaddling for dummies. One or two in the drawer is a wise investment.

We had baby sleeping bags for Zack, but they seem harder to find in Canada for some reason. A great investment for the winter and something I'm keeping my eyes peeled for.

Productivity - the Freeroll waste of time.

2009-10-05T19:28:00.004Z

In online poker, there's a game called the freeroll. In it, an online poker site will give away a prize of money, and everyone can play for free.

I was looking at the different freerolls, trying to determine how many hours are wasted by people trying to win money.

The most number of players I found vying for one prize purse was 12000 people for a prize of $100.

If each player averages twenty minutes playing the freeroll game, then that's 4000 hours total spent playing that particular freeroll game by all the participants combined.

Put another way, in a typical year, a hard working person works 40 hours per week, 50 weeks per year. So a hard working person would work 2000 hours per year.

What I'm trying to say is, for the price of $100. Two years worth of productivity in terms of man hours are wasted on a freeroll game of poker.

I'm as guilty as the next guy for getting caught up in online gaming. It's something I'm trying to stay away from... For now...

Writing Style Shift

2009-09-27T21:07:00.002Z

With a brand new baby girl, a toddler, and my wife all competing for my undivided attention, and with a notoriously short attention span to begin with. I need to make a shift in my writing style. Starting another huge project right now isn't feasible, even though I have two novel length stories simmering in my head. Instead, I'll let the plots and characters develop and unfold there for now.

Instead of working on a story, or series, I'll be working on small pieces. I'll be writing short stories, poetry, articles, opinion pieces, and dabbling at satire when I can find the time, which apparantly isn't right this moment, as my son insists on showing me how to take the hard top off his hot wheels toy car.

Coming Zack...

22. Getting It Out There II: Dan Graham on self-publishing and print-on-demand

2009-09-27T20:30:00.003Z

I have mixed feelings about this session. While I feel I got some useful information , I feel I paid $25 to have someone give me a sales pitch.

While Dan Graham was an enthusiastic representative of a self publisher, if I'd called him up, arranged a meeting, and talked about self publishing my book, then I could have gotten the same thing out of it for free.

On the bright side, like the other seminars and readings, it humanized an industry I had little knowledge about. Dan also provided interesting information on how books are made, and faux pas that might be made and avoided with a good self publisher.

A few months ago, I contracted an editor to work on part of my novel, paying several hundred dollars. In the end, I felt he made few concrete suggestions for improvement. I found a lot of corrections he missed, and few corrections he actually made. So finding someone who can provide me with a quality editor, and who has a personal stake in making sure they are good, might turn out to be the most valuable piece of information I get out of my entire Kingston Writers Fest experience.

21. Getting It Out There I: Billeh Nickerson/Jon Paul Fiorentino on submitting to literary magazines

2009-09-27T01:18:00.005Z

The second master class I attended had two literary magazine editors dishing out the goods on how to get published in a literary magazine. The most valuable things for me with this seminar is it provided a human face to the submissions that people like me hand in. It also gave me a sense of where a lot of up and coming writers start. You name the big Canadian author, and they've been published in one the Canadian Literary magazines circuit before literary circles had even heard their names.

As much as I've been over the lit-mag query letter stage, you can never get enough dos and dont's, especially from the mouths of those who read your work and what they're looking for.

One of the editors suggested responding to themes. One of the advantages of keeping a blog is I spew out different stories all the time. While my blog isn't always submission level, it provides me at least a story a week for almost three years now. Some of my stories can usually be adapted to the themes and provide me an important base to start from.

The editors also gave me two useful websites for Canadian writers trying to get publshed that I'll share.

http://www.placesforwriters.com
http://www.magazinescanada.ca

Master Class One - Through a Child's Eyes: Writing for children with Shelley Tanaka

2009-09-27T01:09:00.003Z

Shelley gave an interesting and well designed seminar on writing for children. She concentrated on voice and character and covered kidlit from toddler books all the way to writing for teens.

While some of the things she said seemed like revision, common sense, or long ago learned writing tips, other things she said I found really useful. A few tips I'll share below.

The Dolch word list, 200 words that children under the age of seven should know, and keeping a young childrens story mostly to that list is important.

As she discussed teen lit, she outlined the exact ingredients I saw in the story I have in mind for the genre.

I'll share some of them below, you'll find many relate to all genres, not just kidlit. I won't give away everything she said, just hints that were new, or particularly useful for me.

Write in your head, think through chapter, outlines, scenarios, etc.*
Start writing when your fingers itch.*
Concentrate on small moments.*
Get feedback, especially from the target market.*
Write a well known story from a different POV. (ie The three little pigs from the Wolf POV)
Consdier how a child shows anger, fear, emotions.*
Practice free writing (as fast as you can for 3 minutes.)

And with that, I'm setting my watch. I'll finish the sentence at three minutes.

My wife had a baby on Tuesday. I stood over her in the hospital room smiling as she had an incredibly intense contractions. She was in major pain, zoning out, holding the nearby rail, moaning and groaning.

And I was smiling. I found something funny in it. I would be a father soon, my wife was going to give me a daughter. I shouldn't have been smiling though, there's nothing funny in seeing someone you love suffer, although I knew she wouldn't die.

I tried to stop smiling, and succeeded by reading a poster on the wall. It gave tips on what a partner can do to support their spouse giving birth. I followed the guidelines.

"You're doing great... I think it's peaked now, it's subsiding... You're doing well... Keep it up honey...

Great news X 2

2009-09-26T23:57:00.003Z

I have two bits of great news to share. Firstly, my daughter Alia was born on Tuesday at 5:24 a.m. Both mommy and baby are doing fine.

Secondly, after waiting for over a year and a half in an exhaustive screening process, I finally got the job I really wanted to get.

I want to say, as I proceed on a career that might place me in positions of controversy and require discretion, this blog is for my writing and to get my creative juices flowing, whether it be opinions, satire, politics, sports, travel or whatever. As you can see with my recent satire, I sometimes try to sit on the other side of the fence and poke fun at political movements I actually support.

The thing I want to avoid most is using my future position and rank to solidify or legitamize any of my opinions. My future job is one where discretion and confidentiality are of the utmost import, so from now on, if I haven't already, I'll try to water down any political opinions or other controversial commentary on my blog.

Alien Conspiracy Theorists Suspect Harper's gotten to Layton

2009-09-15T17:00:00.003Z

Alien conspiracy theorists, some of whom claim to have been abducted, have raised the alarm that the aliens may have infiltrated the NDP. Such theorists have suspected for some time that Prime Minister Stephen Harper is an alien. "How else would you explain his incredible control over his underlings and MPs," said one alien expert, who refused to be named for fear of repeat abduction. "They don't say anything without his approval. They even ask him if they can go to the bathroom. And look at his eyes, if those aren't freaky alien eyes, like the teletubbies have, then I don't know what is."

And now, there is fear he's infected opposition leader Jack Layton with his mind control probes. Yesterday, after a behind-closed-doors private meeting with Stephen Harper, Jack Layton emerged and was mum with the media.

Jack Layton, mum? Is that even possible. "I'm sure Stephen Harper somehow brought him under the same control his ministers are under. Every word out is strictly controlled by the man himself," said a conspiracy theorist who gave only his secret anti-alien code name, Thelula.

It may be true that this is the first time in the history of his leadership that Jack Layton, aka windbag, didn't blather on about some aspect of government.

"We need Doctor Who!" read one man's sign, as he stood outside parliament protesting the alien influence. When queried, he referred to Slitheens, a group of slimy green aliens who wear Human skin suits and fart and giggle a lot. "They've taken over!" he said loudly, his voice an eerie monotone. He went on to say he heard an MP, who this article will not reveal for issues of liability, let one rip on her way out of parliament.

More to come...

Satire - Vote NDP 2009

2009-09-14T01:38:00.004Z

The top ten reasons to vote NDP in the upcoming, perhaps, federal election.

10) Because the NDP will never deal with Stephen Harper, or vote to pass Stephen Harper's legislation, unless they're strapped for cash and the Liberals and the Bloc won't play ball either.

9) Because the NDP is not afraid to increase corporate taxes, even if it means scaring away all business from coming to Canada.

8) Because the NDP believes in equal rights for Gays, Lesbians, Minorities, and the Taliban.

7) Because recreational drugs should be, umm, what was I talking about again?

6) Because Jack Layton's been around a long time, and, come on, just give the poor guy a chance.

5) Because the NDP is the champion of Health Care, Welfare, and no hair.

4) Because we're Democrats, like Barrack Obama, just newer.

3) Because given the choice between a spiteful, angry, right wing religious nutjob, an immoral divorced man with a mean streak who's just passing through the country, some separatists trying to rip apart the country, and a champion of social justice and equality, who would you choose?

2) Because Jack Layton doesn't need to waste taxpayer money with a makeup maven to powder his nose and primp his hair. A quick polish and he's ready to go.

1) Because by passing lax drug laws and having an openess to safe and sustainable prostitution, the NDP can put the party back into politics.

Political Satire - Vote Liberal

2009-09-11T13:45:00.005Z

Top ten reasons to vote for the Liberal party 2009:

10) So that we can introduce Rae Days to the entire country.

9) So Ruby Dhalla can be made Minister of Citizenship and Immigration and show those ungrateful Phillipino maids a thing or two about employee/employer relationships, and foot rubbing.

8) Because the Liberals will continue their sponsorship of National Unity.

7) Because Michael Ignatieff loves the USA, which is okay now that they have a cool president who everyone in Canada thinks is awesome, well, everyone except the Conservative party members who tried to rat him out during the US election primaries.

6) So they can secretly bring back the Green Shift plan and save the world.

5) To once again provide a safe and friendly refuge for Peter MacKay's ex-girlfriends.

4) To once again provide a safe and friendly refuge for Conservative MPs ready to come out of the closet.

3)Because a Liberal minority has more than a chance in hell of working with the NDP and Bloc.

2) To change the traditional rules so that we can skip future elections and declare Ignatieff leader.

1) Because all thinking women could use more crumpets.

Just say no to the Hamilton Blackberries

2009-09-10T14:21:00.001Z

Gary Bettman and his cohorts are wondering when Jim Balsille will take the hint and go away. "He's undesirable. He's of ill repute. We don't want his type of character owning an NHL team." One NHL management insider, Chuck U Farley, is quoted as saying, "How many billionaire Italian Canadians do you know who aren't tied to the mafia? We don't want people like that associated with the NHL," he said.

When it was pointed out that Jim Balsille is the billionaire owner of a wildly successful telecommunications company, Mr Farley said, "The NHL owners are well experienced in judging character, I'm sure time will prove them right."

But Mr Bettman contradicts the statement that the NHL has a problem with Balsille himself, it's about the NHL's rights, he says, "This is not about whether or not we want a franchise in southern Ontario, and whether or not Mr. Balsillie would make a suitable owner," explained Bettman. "This is about the League rules and the enforceability of our rules, whether or not Mr. Moyes (owner of the Phoenix Coyotes) even has the authority to file a bankruptcy petition is something we're going to get into.”

We asked acclaimed hockey and business lawyer, Jaques Strap, about the definition of bankruptcy and his response was, "Generally, if you're out of money, losing millions of dollars, and the banks are after you for debt that keeps growing, then yes, you can declare bankrupcy and start the court process."

When queried further and asked for an example, Jaques said, "Look at it this way. If you made some incredibly terrible financial decisions, such as borrow a lot of money to buy Nortel stock, or invest in a hockey team in the desert, then when you run out of money and the creditors and other stakeholders are threatening to cut your balls off, then you can declare bankruptcy."

"So why wouldn't Mr. Moyes be able to declare bankrupcy, as Mr. Bettman challenges in the courts?" we asked him.

"I really don't know, at the end of the day, you can't get blood from a stone, especially a sun drenched Arizona stone."

We asked hockey insider Chuck U Farley, "Why is Balsille deemed by the NHL to be of poor character, but people like William Del Biaggio and Peter Pocklington owned NHL franchises?"

"Del Biaggio and Peter Pocklington are good people," Farley said. "Pocklington ran for the leadership of the Progressive Conservative Party of Canada. I'd wager he's as reputable as Stephen Harper himself. And Del Biaggio, well, he's innocent until proven guilty?"

"But he was found guilty?"

"Not by the NHL he wasn't, and that's what counts!"

When queried further, and it was pointed out that Hamilton would be a market guaranteed to make money, Mr. Farley refused to comment. When we went on to point out that 12 NHL teams lost money last year, and another eight teams barely turned profits, some of which had very successful seasons with deep playoff runs, Chuck Farley responded by saying, "Shut up stupid head, you don't know nuthin!"

We managed to calm Mr Farley down and asked him why the NHL won't just let the sale go through and move a struggling team to a viable market?

"A lot of reasons."

When queried further, he said, "Cuz he's a bad man. Cuz Hamilton sucks. Cuz, Cuz, Cuz..."

And with that, he convinced us. So in conculsion, just say no to the Hamilton Blackberries. Keep hockey in Phoenix!

Having a go at Political Satire

2009-09-08T14:33:00.003Z

It's Federal election positioning time in Canada, and what better fodder for stirring up emotions for a good satire than a Canadian mudslinging, no-holds-bar, federal election. I can feel the anger sizzling up as the various politicians berate each other over and over again with in your face television ads.

Over the next weeks and months, I'll have a go at writing Political Satire, something I love to read. I was inspired by a recent version of political satire that resonated with me. You can read it here...

Huntley case helps Darfur survivors gain perspective.

The "South African" refugee and Canada's Immigration Woes

2009-09-02T14:24:00.006Z

The headline story in the Globe and Mail this Morning is called, South African's refugee case causes backlash against ‘racist' Canada.

I'll start by quoting what I see as the main underlying issue.

Stéphane Malépart, a spokesman for the Immigration and Refugee Board of Canada, said the board cannot release the Huntley decision or make any comment on the ruling since all of its cases are heard in private and its tribunals operate at arm's length from the government.

The Canadian government deflects responsibility by saying the decision was made by the Canadian Immigration and Refugee Board. It views this board much like it views the police and the courts. Political interference is all but forbidden. Just like the government wouldn't go and tell the police to drop a manslaughter case against a political ally, they also won't tell the Immigration and Refugee Board to accept or deny a particular application.

This raises a dual issue. It's good on the one hand, because it's not fair for a government minister to push through his maid's, or his foreign lover's, or his immigrating friend's immigration or refugee application without proper invesigations. David Blunkett of England found this out when he was forced to resign over personally handing in his maid's immigration forms, which were subsequently fast tracked in a fraction of the usual processing time.

On the other hand, giving immigration courts complete autonomy raises serious issues when their decisions have political implications. Canadian immigration refused entry to British Minister George Galloway. Most people saw his "actions in question" as being charitable to Palestinians. Some Canadian official saw it as supporting terrorist organisations.

In the case of the South African Refugee, as in many others, it causes serious diplomatic dilemmas for the Canadian government. This case is an embarrassment for Canada, as was Galloway, as was Abdelrazik, Arar, and the thousands of unreported stories of incompetent and unfair immigration official decisions that have occurred throughout the world.

South Africa does suffer from high crime. It suffers from underlying racism left over from apartheid. But South Africa also prides itself on reconciliation, which started with Nelson Mandela's famous forgiveness, and continues to inspire its people, and the world today.

If racism, a higher than normal crime rate, and equal opportunity/affirmative action/nepotism practices are all that's needed to accept a refugee, then perhaps Canadian citizens will soon be seeking refuge overseas as well.

Untold Stories - The Curse of the Blue Hole

2009-08-28T16:54:00.004Z

Industry guidelines told me keep my first book around 100,000 words. This meant that every incident in my two years worth of travel experiences couldn't be told.

I had to pick and choose. Often, I left out stories because I wanted to maintain flow. Little day trips and stops were often discarded because I didn't want the book to sound like, "I went here, then I went there, then I went there..."

I left the following part out because it sounded almost unbelievable. I was also in a rush to finish the book, and, aside from this one incident, it was a typical week at the beach drinking and laughing and playing cards with other travellers.

In order to tell it properly I'd need to develop several characters, build up to the critical incident, and finally have the awkward goodbye that I fear became a cliche in my book.

Here's one of many untold stories.

Shark!

This story, my last in Egypt, starts off on a frustrating note. A good looking group Dutch travellers sat in front of me on the bus. A loud, obese, and irritating American sat next to me and decided to strike up a conversation. With the entire bus able to hear his loud disposition, he talked about smoking dope, about checking out the girlies, and about how he just wanted to par-tay in our destination, Dahab, Egypt.

I managed to ditch that guy shortly after arriving, and met up with the good looking group of Dutch travellers. They were wary of me at first, associating me with the loud guy, but in realizing I was trying to escape the loud boob's clutches, they took pity on me and welcomed me into their clique. We went on to spent several days vacationing by the beach.

One day, five of us hired a driver to take us to the infamous Blue Hole. The driver was sad, one of his colleagues had died while deep diving in the Blue Hole earlier that week.

The Blue Hole is a submarine pothole of coral reef that goes straight down 130 metres into the sea. It is said to be the most dangerous diving destination in the world.

"Egyptian authorities claim that 40 divers have died at this site since records began; however, many local dive guides believe that the authorities are deliberately underestimating the numbers and that there have actually been at least twice that many fatalities."

Deep sea diving has never appealed to me. The Blue Hole, and the plethora of gravestones littering the mountainside next to it only enhanced my hesitance for the sport.

Instead of dive, I joined Erik, a thin Dutchman with spiky blond hair. With a mask and snorkel in hand, we hiked two kilometres along a rocky path through the low, reddish seaside cliffs that ran along the Sinai Peninsula. After a kilometre, we descended toward a low point in the rocky cliffs and slipped into the Red Sea.

We swam out and away from the rocks, letting the strong current push us back toward the Blue Hole. Staring down through our masks at the bluish reef below, we saw an enormous school of jellyfish starting to form below. They were sparse at first, but thickened as we continued. The current pushed us forward at a steady pace. "Aren't some jellyfish poisonous?" Eric asked. I felt a ripple of fear at the thought.

"Some are," I said uncertainly, returning my head to the sea and looking down at the increasing density of twinkling blobs. They became so thick that we couldn't help but touch a few as we tried to snake our way through the masses.

After some time, we made it through the imagined danger and arrived at the Blue Hole.

Eric's head was down, and I took a moment to look up and see our friends at the shore. They were waving and shouting at us. I wondered if they were trying to warn us to get away from the jellyfish? One girl put her hand over her head like a triangle, I managed to read the word she kept repeating with her lips. "Shark!"

I grabbed Eric, he looked up and I yelled, "Swim!"

We raced toward the shore, me swimming for precious life, and Erik thinking I was being competitive and trying to impress the girls. For all I knew, the shark could be at my heels. I arrived at the dock and I pulled myself up before reaching to pull out Erik as he arrived after me.

Not far away, at the edge of the Blue Hole, I saw the fin of a black tip shark come out of the water.

Disaster averted, I went back to lazing on the beach. Car problems awaited me in Jordan.

Canadian Immigration - Culture of Distrust

2009-08-07T18:54:00.004+01:00

The recent passport scenario, where Somali Canadian Suaad Hagi Mohamud was arrested at the airport, had her passport confiscated, and was sent to a Kenyan jail for alleged passport fraud, is just one of a growing list of embarrassing screw ups by Canadian Embassies, and related immigration and passport services.

I'm reminded of my time in Egypt, where the pages in my passport were all full, including the page extension, and I needed to apply for a new one.

The various pieces of identification and papers I needed for a new passport included: my birth certificate; and a letter from an Egyptian official (Doctor, Lawyer, Police officer, etc.) whom I'd known for two years, and stating that I was who I claimed to be.

To have known an Egyptian official for two years was a silly demand for three reasons.
1) I'd only just arrived in Egypt, how was I supposed to know one for more than a few days, let alone two years.
2) For the bribe of a few bucks, an Egyptian cop will swear he's your long lost brother. For much less, he'll sign something saying you are who you are.
3) Many Egyptian officials don't understand English or French and would have no idea what they were signing.

Moving on, how many people travel with their birth certificates? I HAD my old passport. I COULD have gone back to Canada with it. What was the need for all the extra documentation?

The way I saw it, the Sept 11 terrorist attacks occurred, Canada got criticized for border issues, and our response was to have a bunch of Public Service gits pass incompetent, ineffectual, and irritating passport application legislation.

While I was going through this ordeal, (it took me six months to get a new birth certificate issued from Canada,) I met an American embassy worker who issued passports. I asked him, "What's the process for issuing new passports to Americans overseas."

He said, "After they fill out their application, we interview them and ask them a handful of questions like, "What street did you grow up on? Where was your first school? What was your first phone number?"

"That's it?" I asked.

"Yep," he said. "People lose their passports all the time."

"No, no," I said. "What if they already have a passport, but the pages are all full."

He looked at me like I was an idiot. "Then we just issue them a new one. What kind of idiot would question an already valid passport?"

Canadian immigration could learn a thing or two from their American counterparts.

Kicking the Coffee, Days 1 and 2

2009-07-28T00:09:00.002+01:00

On a family trip to Washington back when I was a teenager, my father took us on a daily trip through a drive through so he could get his java fix. It was the first time I noticed his addiction. Back then, as a youngster, I criticized him for it.

It's twenty years later and I have the same habit.

Kicking the coffee addiction has been something I've contemplated doing for a while. If I don't get my morning fix, I get a raging headache by mid afternoon.

Coffee is not the typical addiction. I don't wake up craving coffee. I just know if I don't get some, I'll get a headache and therefore won't function as well later in the day.

Yesterday, Sunday, was one of those forgetful days. I never got around to making my morning cup. So instead of give in, I decided to try and kick the habit.

Day 1 - By the afternoon I felt lethargic and in a daze. It could have partly been because of a rugby match on Saturday. I just wanted to sit down all day and watch TV. It was an effort to drive to my parents house for dinner.
In the evening I noticed a rash on my knee, although I suspect this was from scouring through waist high weeds looking for a rugby ball yesterday, not a side effect of not drinking coffee.

Day 2 - My knee rash is really itchy and bubbling up where I scratched it this morning, like claws going across the skin. Not drinking coffee didn't stop me from working out at the gym, although I forwent the hamstring machine because I didn't want my knees to touch the bench. I felt pretty good after the workout, but crashed soon after that.
When I put Zack down for a nap after lunch, I also felt tired. I had a terrible headache when I woke up two hours later. It was the kind where you don't want to move because it hurts so much. It faded after a few minutes, although lingered until after dinner. I had a cup of tea after dinner. It's probably cheating, but I kicked the coffee, not the tea. The headache is gone.

My investment strategy 2009 - if I had money

2009-07-22T15:58:00.003+01:00

If I had money, this would be my investment strategy.

I envision the TSE fluctuating between 9000 and 11000 for the next year or so. I would buy when it's around 9500 and sell when its around 10500.

If my prediction is correct, and the markets do fluctuate by 10%, from 2 to 5 times, I could get returns of 20% to 50% on the year.

Risk 1 - The market collapses. It dropped below 8000 a while ago, which would be a very rough ride and lose me about 20%.

Industries of interest are, Tech, food and supermarkets, Banks, and Railways.

Down by the Mizpah Graveyard

2009-07-20T19:22:00.004+01:00

You can see this story in an upcoming issue of Canadian Stories Magazine.

The Snowballing Ponzi Lie

2009-07-16T14:10:00.003+01:00

Ponzi schemes are in the news again, the most recent being Montreal swindler Earl Jones. I suspect more and more cases will come forward in the coming months.

Often, I would guess the Ponzi masters are caught up in a snowballing cascade of numbers shifting. People now ask where the money went? I would wager that a lot of it went to payouts over the years, while much of the remainder would have been lost in the recent stock market crash. Between the two forces, there probably just isn't much left.

Money can be fudged and shifted easily enough when the markets are performing well. When the markets falter significantly as they've done over the past year, that's when the Ponzi schemes blow up. The money is shifted until there's nothing left, or the Ponzi masters cash in their remaining few chips and bail.

Sure, they've accrued assets, perhaps a couple million dollars in real estate and toys, but it's a pittance compared to the original sums invested.

So to the Montrealers who hold out hope that a magic bank account will come to light and they'll get most of their savings back. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your moneys likely been frittered away through various bad investments, payouts, and perhaps the advisor's extravagant lifestyle.

A ponzi scheme is simply a lie that gets bigger and bigger, until one day a lot of people get really really hurt. Investors should take an important lesson from it. Research your financial advisers. Make sure they're registered and legit, even if they're your best friend, relative, or spouse.

Unfair Trade, the Skeptics View

2009-07-15T20:03:00.004+01:00

Why don't stores carry any any unfair trade labelled products? I mean, for someone like me, who is a little short on cash, and without any major moral dilemmas, unfair trade products represent an ease on the wallet.

Now their must be unfair trade products, because there are fair trade products. So should we assume all imports not labelled 'fair trade' are exploitive and made in sweatshops?

How much better treated does someone in fair trade get? In the third world, a job is a job. The going rate for labour is the going rate. Do fair trade companies say that's not fair, we're raising the bar? Who cares if our products are more expensive?

Or is it a big scam to make more money? Can I really trace those coffee beans, or the chocolate bars back to fair trade practices, whatever fair trade is really defined as? Was there absolutely no sexual harassment in the workplace, no unscrupulous boss getting some nookie in the back office so the new girl could keep her job? How can I be sure? Do the books show these bosses paying employees generously? How do I know they're not getting a kickback when the 'fair trade' police are looking the other way?

Are workers making minimum wage according to first world standards? I think that would be the true meaning of fair trade. Paying a guy the nine bucks an hour someone here in Ontario would get for doing the same job.

Fair trade? No thanks, I'll cheap out every time.

My Writing Journey - the abbreviated version.

2009-06-18T15:00:00.004+01:00

Six years ago, in 2003, I'd finished my journey from South Africa to England in a Beach Buggy. I'd heard the same line over and over again from friends and family members. "Why don't you write a book?"

It's one of those things, I was either going to write a book or I wasn't, and at that point in time I hadn't made the decision yet. Yet similar to many decisions in my life, the idea was planted, mulled over, and suddenly acted upon.

In response, I bought a second-hand laptop in Holland and headed down to France. The plan was to find a flat, take French courses, and start writing the book.

I stopped in Bordeaux. It was October. It was cold and wet and miserable. I couldn't find a cheap flat, anywhere.

A friend advised me to try Morocco. It made perfect sense. It was a former French colony. It was cheaper than France. The weather was better. I could maintain my Arabic studies.

So I went. Bus, train, ferry, another train. Three days later I was in Rabat. Within a week I had a flat and had signed up for French courses.

I wrote, and wrote, and wrote. In less than three months I had an almost full length manuscript. It needed a bit of editing, though, or so I thought.

It was around this point where construction started in the apartment below me. From eight in the morning to six at night, a constant pounding, like someone is taking a sledgehammer to the wall right next to you.

It was supposed to last two weeks. After three weeks, with completely stalled progress on my book, and still the incessant pounding, I decided to move out.

I moved in with a friend, a woman with two kids who needed the money. She was neurotic, depressed from a bad marriage and confused about an on-and-off relationship with a local man. Her mood swings kept me steadily in my room working on the book.

It wasn't the best environment to write. There were many distractions. My productivity wasn't the same as it had been in the apartment.

I met a girl, Siham, at a weekend running club. My productivity diminished further.

I needed to get away. After seven months in Morocco, I flew to England. I spent six months locked away in a flat in Bolton. During this time, I sought feedback on my novel, and with that in mind, I stumbled upon a website called Critique Circle.

The feedback wasn't flattering. My characters were static, the scenes lacked description. I was telling, telling, telling, and not showing, showing, showing. My character was arrogant and didn't connect with readers. I tried to be funny, but came across as stupid and irritating. My punctuation was awful.

It was bad.

I took the feedback and rewrote the chapters. Each week I submitted a different chapter to the writing and critiquing circle. In that six months, my writing progressed immensely, and at the end of it, my writing was on the verge of being good.

During my stay in England, I talked to Siham almost every day. We had a rendezvous in Spain half way through my stay. I was scheduled to go back to Canada in December, but I wanted to see her one last time. I'd come to one of those decisions that gets mulled over, and finally acted upon.

I proposed to Siham in the Costa del Sol, southern Spain just before returning to Canada. She said yes.

I came back to Canada and continued to write fairly intensely.

My writing was interrupted by my move back to Morocco three months later. As we got married, and for the next four months, I got very little done. I gradually got back into it, but married life isn't nearly as productive as bachelor life, and I made slow progress on the book while honing the craft more and more.

It was 2005 now, approaching two years into my writing endeavor. 2006 came, and the writing was picking up again. I was getting close to having a finished project.

I had to work a lot on the ending.

I had to work a lot on the beginning.

The middle wasn't bad. It only needed a little work.

Then Siham was pregnant. My work spiralled downwards, from a rush to get it done, to being stuck on a chapter I just couldn't get right.

That chapter, Egypt, took over a year. For the last three months of the pregnancy, and the first nine months of my son Zack's life, I just couldn't concentrate on it. Every rewrite made it worse. Finally, I decided I needed to finish it, even if it was bad.

With Zack approaching the one year mark, I got back into writing. I found a groove. Not a fast groove, not an ideal one, but one where productive improvements were coming out. I was setting realistic goals and meeting them.

Then, one day, I had the complete manuscript. I printed it off and headed away for a week of solitary bliss in Spain where I could edit it without distraction. I did most of the editing on the trains and ferries, and for the first time, read over the manuscript in its entirety.

Half the chapters needed work. The beginning sucked, and so did the ending. The beginning got completely redone. The ending got tweaked.

We moved back to Canada in 2008.

I continued to edit. I joined a writing group and edited a few pages a week, which helped me to finally get the beginning right. In the meantime, on my own, I gradually worked through the entire manuscript, again and again. Each time, I picked chapters and scenes that needed work. Then, there wasn't any more work to do. I had something before me that was as good as I could get it on my own.

Now, six years into my writing journey, the manuscript is with an editor and I'm seeking publication.

The endeavor continues.

Confidence Boost

2009-06-18T14:29:00.002+01:00

There are times when I feel nothing is going right, and recently, it has been like that. A strange mix of bad luck, poor decision making, and a frustrating inability to combine my life's pleasures with my personal responsibilities.

What I needed was a confidence boost, and I got it.

My novel is pretty much as good as I can get it. It's also at the stage where I don't want to look at it constantly, day in and day out, anymore. I just want to get it published.

It's taken me six years to get to this point. Six years of learning the craft of story telling and all the tricks of the trade. Six years of rewriting chapters, scenes, adding, deleting, tweaking, critiquing, and trying to get it all right.

Having been rejected by countless agents. In fact rejection is a good word, it means I was actually acknowledged, the majority of agents simply ignored my queries and didn't bother to respond.
The problem was, this was the query letter stage. I couldn't even get my foot in the door to have them look at my first chapter!

A few weeks ago, I sought the advice and expertise of an editor. I contacted a relevant and highly recommended website, and was put in touch with several very qualified editors.

The one I chose works from California. We started with the first couple chapters, mainly because I didn't want to pay him a huge sum for the entire book right away, especially if he thought my work was crap.

He really liked it. He described it as a joy to edit and a real page turner. He was excited to be moving on with the story and said that I had learned the craft of writing much more aptly than the majority of writers who approached him. He went on to say there was definitely a publisher somewhere who would be interested in my work. It needed tweaking here and there, and aside from a few commas and reworded sentences, there were only two minor reworking suggestions in the first 10,000 words he looked at.

So there it is. My confidence boost. I'm now researching and contacting publishers instead of agents.
According to many books I've read, this might be a mistake. It's this frustrating catch 22 situation. Agents want authors who've been published. Publishers want authors with agents. What's a guy with a good manuscript and no credentials supposed to do?

An excerpt, and NO GO ZONES

2009-06-11T14:54:00.002+01:00

I've been in war torn countries and violent regions. I've been held at gun point, shot at, threatened with death. I've had my campsite stormed by military. I've been mugged at knife point.

I would go back to these countries. In fact, there are few countries in the world which I would not hesitate to visit. I might hesitate visiting Iraq, and would perhaps only go after researching the region, dangers, and issues involved.

There is only one country in the world where I will definitely not go, not without a significant military presence guarding me anyway. That country is Somalia. If you are a Western journalist or an aid person, basically, if you are white, don't go there for a visit or a story. It's unstable. There is no functional government. The people are xenophobic, and those who aren't, may see you as a meal ticket for kidnapping and ransom, if your lucky. If your unlucky, they'll scalp you, rape you, chop your head off and drag your broken body down the street.

Here is an excerpt from my book, leading up to a particularly dangerous section of my journey to a region bordering Somalia.

The ten-storey brick building housing the Canadian consulate seemed typical of downtown Nairobi; poorly kept and blackened from pollution. Inside and on the third floor lay the standard, uninspiring Canadian Public Service office with grey carpets, glass barriers, and a rack of relevant pamphlets. On my only previous visit, I’d asked about what party festivities were taking place for Canada Day on July 1st. Within minutes, I’d managed to get the entire Kenyan staff worked into an angered frenzy. They thought that their unappreciative bosses had forgotten to invite them. In the end, a woman from the embassy, located elsewhere in the city, shouted at me over the telephone. “There is no Canada Day Party!”
Now, more than a month later, I returned to the consulate. Based on the advice of a fellow traveller, I went to inform them of my imminent travels to the north.
A frizzy-haired Kenyan woman sitting in her cubicle looked up at me as I approached. “I remember you.” She narrowed her eyes. “Have you come back to cause more trouble?”
I took a hesitant step toward the window and greeted her with my warmest smile. “That’s a lovely blouse.”
She unfolded her arms and her face softened as she glanced down over her frilly cream-coloured blouse. “How can I help you today?”
“I’m driving to Ethiopia. Someone told me I should consult with the embassy first.”
Her expression changed into one of confusion and she began shuffling through papers on her desk. “You shouldn’t drive there. The Canadian Embassy doesn’t recommend it.” She found the correct stapled stack of papers and picked the phone up to call someone. A few moments later, a white woman came through the door. Her sour expression and pressed suit made her seem like a staunch feminist who scared male co-workers into submission. They talked in Swahili, discussing the Canada Day incident before switching over to my travel plans. The Canadian woman finished with something to the tune of, “Stupid tourist,” after which they both laughed and she turned toward me. Her pale blue eyes were cold and penetrating. “We recommend that people avoid travelling north of Mount Kenya.”
“Why is that?”
“Because it’s a UN level three zone,” she said with conviction, as though it was something so obvious any idiot would understand.
“I’m sorry, what’s a UN level three zone?” I asked.
“It means it’s dangerous.” She put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips.
There was a silence. I hadn’t expected a red carpet welcome, but didn’t think I’d get called a stupid tourist either. “Okay,” I said. “Let’s discuss my other options to get to Egypt. I hear in Somalia they chop Westerners heads off and drag them through the streets. Then there’s Sudan: where the south is run by rebels fighting a government who are trying to ethnically cleanse them. Functional roads in the war-torn Congo don’t exist, however rape and heroine-addicted child soldiers do. Which do you recommend?” I doubted she could even name the surrounding African countries.
Her eyes narrowed into angry slits. She waved her finger at me. “Northern Kenya is so dangerous,” she began, “It’s so dangerous that no insurance company will cover you there.”
“That’s okay, I don’t have insurance.”
The secretary handed her the document and the woman held it up to the window. “This is a travel advisory warning Canadians not to travel to northern Kenya. I suggest you read through it and rethink your plans.” She handed it back to the secretary who slid it through a tray under the window. “Is there anything else?” she asked bitterly.
I responded in Swahili. “No thank you. I’ll read this and then drive to Ethiopia.”
We locked eyes for several seconds before she gulped and looked away. Her mouth opened, but for the first time nothing came out. She remained that way as I winked at the gaping secretary, turned and left.

It it too late to stop climate change?

2009-06-10T14:28:00.002+01:00

CO2 in the atmosphere is widely regarded to be the primary cause of climate change.

Thus far, the international focus has been on trying to reduce CO2 emissions. I've never been convinced that this is the right strategy.

I'd be curious to know how much more humanity adds to the CO2 equation vs how much it takes away from CO2 recycling through deforestation?

How much less CO2 would the normal cycle of the earth emit if humans didn't exist at all? I don't think it's very much.

Now before you get angry at me and call me a Republican, or worse, let me clarify my position. I think the more important factor in the CO2 equations is deforestation. Specifically, how much CO2 recycling ability are we taking out of the atmosphere when we cut down a billion trees a year?

The lungs of the world are being purged, like a cancer, and no matter how green we get with our mechanical, solar, wind powered, and battery technologies, the real key might just lie in replacing the earth's lungs - our forests.

What is the most efficient CO2 absorbing plant? I don't know! But, if we could figure this out and plant it on a mass scale, we might have a better chance at balancing the CO2 equation.

Furthermore, the answer might lie in finding as many viable replacements for wood as we can. Metal, concrete, hemp for paper, bricks. Do we need to use a lot of wood to frame a house? I don't think so.

Deforestation has been brought up time and time again, but it now seems overshadowed by our carbon footprints. If we take the total human carbon footprint out of the equation while keeping the deforestation problem, I think we're still on a crash course to disaster.

What do you think?

Bail out bitterness

2009-06-08T14:46:00.002+01:00

While GM and Chrysler find themselves rewarded for years of mismanagement, overspending, and generally poor decision making, Ford are the biggest losers in the bail out bonanza.

Ford's Mazda takeover gave them what the other two never had, a strong presence in the small car market. This is a key reason behind Ford's survival. Unfortunately, they are still teetering with debt and other high costs. The difference between Ford and the two bankruptcy protected US automakers is Ford are managing their costs and surviving, or at the very least not bleeding profusely.

So what do they get for their successful business model? Nothing. While GM and Chrysler offload debt via bankruptcy and have a fifteen billion dollar infusion, Ford continues to exist under their heavy burdens because they can.

The problem is, GM and Chrysler now have a competitive advantage.

Look at it this way. Take two identical businesses, relieve the debt of one and give them money while doing nothing for the second.

Flush with cash and not paying off any debts, the first business can cut costs, lower prices, and squeeze the second business out of the market.

Instead of bailout, Canada should have attracted other car manufacturers, (VW, Subaru, Nissan, Fiat, etc) to North America with loan guarantees and fire sale of the factories GM and Chrysler left behind. They would have saved fifteen billion dollars, recovered some of the losses of GM and Chrysler rather than providing bad businesses with a competitive advantage.

Was it pride that made us do it? Pride in North America's long auto manufacturing history? Or was it keeping up with the Jones'? The US gave em cash, we should too.

Moving onto US protectionism measures, buy American, and subsidizing.

Economics 101 says protectionism bad, open market good. In fact, isn't protectionism a small step toward Communism? Government intervention, etc, etc...

Whether its Obama or the pressure he's receiving I don't know, but protectionism fails in the long run. I think in many ways he's a model president, particularly for the international healing, but his economic policies have been lukewarm at best.

Protectionism can have an upside, but only if other countries are too daft to catch on and prevent getting dumped on by subsidized goods.

For instance, the US is subsidizing the pulp and paper industry. For every $500 the industry takes in in revenue, the US government gives them about $200.

In the long run, this could ruin other countries business models while dumping cheap lumber internationally. Once we're addicted, and the US has total control over the industry, then they can change from subsidizing lumber to taxing it heavily and raking in the money.

So what could Canada, and other countries do to ease the pain?

We could offer similar subsidies. That would keep our industry going, although at a heavy cost to the taxpayer.

The better option would be to form an international agreement with all other countries to charges tarrifs that double the subsidized amount from the offending country, not only on the raw materials, but on any and all products related to the pulp and paper industry.

Such an act would kick off a trade war and everyone would lose in the short term. But, losing in the short term is better than getting your ass kicked in the long term by the US. The longer term goal being to strong arm the US back into non-subsidizing behaviour.

Some say that in the 1920s, when the recession hit and the stock market nosedived, that a protectionist response led into the great depression. Are we on the same road once again?

Teen Rugby Manslaughter Conviction

2009-05-29T14:33:00.002Z

Two years ago, at a rugby game in Mississauga, a fifteen-year-old boy died after a 'behind the play' incident with an opposing player.

The incident reminds me of two moments in all of my sports where my temper was flaring and I might have hurt someone.

The first was in a hockey game. Another player was doing something to irritate me, I don't recall what. I turned around to give him a little slash, and my stick got higher than I intended. It clipped him in the head. The play looked dirty, but I'd intended to get him in the arm. It wasn't a Chris Simon type Tomahawk full on swing, and even if the player wasn't wearing a helmet the worst he would have gotten was a bruise, but it goes to show how a slight act of aggression can go wrong.

The second incident occurred in front of the net in a ball hockey game. I was jostling for position and things got rough. I picked up the opposing player by the shorts. In that moment he was at my mercy. I could have pushed only a tiny bit and sent him crashing backwards onto his head. But I realized that. My intention to rough him up didn't include seriously hurting him, and I let go. After the game, he mentioned that he was terrified in that moment, off balance and in danger, and I'd relented and even helped him stay balanced.

I look upon this unfortunate rugby incident in both lights. It's a situation that occurs daily in sports, with the result 99.9999% of the time no major damage. There are a few nuts out there. Guys who don't have the self control to stop themselves when an opposing player is at their mercy. This young man could be one of those people. Then again, he could just be a guy who got caught up in a moment and the result caused a tragic death.

Is South Africa following Zimbabwe?

2009-05-27T22:02:00.002Z

Zimbabwe declined gradually. It wasn't an overnight disintegration. Initially there was hope. They were economically powerful and a country with regional and international significance.

Then came signs. Issues that made people shake their heads: The Matabele tragedy; the mistreatment of white farmers; the quelling of opposition. Yet all the while, hope still held strong that the sound fundamentals of the country would keep it afloat.

Now it's a mess. Cholera, starvation, corruption, intimidation. The gradual incremental signs have snowballed until the breadbasket became a basket case.

Now, those same signs are growing more prevalent in South Africa.

Signs have been about for some time. One of the strongest early symbols of South African political degeneration came at the highest levels of government with Mbeki's ignorant early response to the AIDS pandemic.

Years later, Zuma took it to a new level with his alleged rape of an HIV infected family friend, and how he showered afterwards to protect himself against the virus.

But the scary signs continue in other ways.

A year ago, a xenophobic outburst saw 60 foreigners killed and numerous others raped, beaten and tortured. Yet there hasn't been a single arrest.

Recently, the Sowetan newspaper quoted opposition leader Ms Zille as saying: "Zuma is a self-confessed womaniser with deeply sexist views, who put all his wives at risk by having unprotected sex with an HIV-positive woman."

In response to this "true" statement, Ms Zille has been accused of being racist. The ANC Youth League (could this be scarily familiar to the Zimbabwe war veterans) then released a statement threatening to take militant action against Ms Zille if she continued to talk "hogwash".

The league said it was "disgusted by remarks attributed to the racist girl Helen Zille, who when failing to defend her stupid and sexist decision to appoint predominantly white males into her Cabinet, attacks the president".

While the words didn't come from Zuma himself, time will tell how he handles the criticism of a robust democracy. Opposition by nature criticizes the government for their shortcomings. Will Zuma accept the criticism and govern well? Or will he be more like Mugabe, squashing the opposition and becoming increasingly tyrannical?

Many people around the world have the same misgivings over President Zuma's record of sexual conduct. Even if he was innocent of rape, his polygamist attitudes and indifference toward AIDS was startling. The only good news is that it's too early to tell which path he will follow.

Time will tell. In the meantime, we'll do what we always do, keep hoping.

Reasons behind Canada's record deficit.

2009-05-27T18:26:00.005Z

Fifty billion dollars equals about $1,500 per Canadian.

That's $6000 for a family of four.

So, why exactly is Canada going into such a huge deficit?

Here are three reasons.

The primary reason is lower taxes received due to capital losses replacing capital gains. If the average Canadian loses $5000 on the markets instead of making that much, that's a $10,000 loss to potential taxable income per Canadian.

A second reason is higher unemployment. More unemployment means more money paid out in EI benefits and less taken in.

The third contributing factor is poor taxation to compensate for the lower capital gains. The GST, instead of being dropped to 5%, should have been raised to 10% in order to shield us from out of control deficits. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out income taxes will be down significantly this year. Apparently, Canada's current government didn't figure this out.

While a hike to 10% GST would have been unpopular, in fact it would have reversed a promise of the the Conservatives, it would have been their smartest economic decision.

In the best of years, Canada ran a $15 billion dollar surplus. That was during record oil prices and huge revenues from the oil sands. More typically, a good year might be around $6 billion.

In other words, it will take either ten years of constant economic prosperity and the resulting budget surpluses to pay off the 2009 budget deficit. Either that, or it will take ten years of 10% GST.

Estimates vary, but a reliable number pegs Canada's Federal debt at around half a trillion dollars. So, if a good year yields a 6 billion dollar surplus, we're looking at 90 years worth of good budget surpluses before we can pay off our current debt.

The problem with debt is that it spirals. A point is reached where, even in a good year of taxation, all of the taxes go to servicing the interest on the debt.

In the US, their national debt sits at around 12 trillion dollars. That's $30,000 per US citizen, and $120,000 for a family of four.

If, at the modestly low interest rate of 2.5%, the average tax per household would be over $3000 just to service that debt. If interest rates go up to 5%, that doubles, etc.

Political Scandal Week and Flashing Lights Syndrome

2009-05-13T14:09:00.002Z

I've got something important to do. I scuttle down the street, focused only on the task at hand, and, whoa, FLASHING LIGHTS!

What do they mean? Why are they there? I gotta check them out! What was that task I was doing again? Oh, never mind, FLASHING LIGHTS!

It's sometimes surprising how easily our attention is drawn away from important issues. This week, one political scandal is topping the next, but are some concocted in order to distract the attention of the masses from more serious issues.

A former PM, and a conservative at that, is under the corruption gun. There's something very fishy about Mulroney accepting wads of cash from an international shadester only months after he left office. I'm curious to know....

Holy crap, another Conservative is under the gun. Names are named, some prominent conservatives playing influence peddling games. Whoa, the conservatives are in for a bout of bad press just when the opposition has overtaken them in popularity.

BUT WAIT! A Super Hot Liberal MP mistreats her maids! CAT FIGHT, CAT FIGHT!

It's those flashing lights again, sucking the media into a distraction, and us, the population follows.

In reality, it's little more than a labour dispute between a prominent figure and her family's caregivers. But we better have a full parliamentary inquiry. Something has to distract the masses from the alleged corruption running through the party in power. What better to do that than throw in some sex appeal and blow it out of proportion?

Would we be as enthralled if the lower profile John Cannis was under the nanny gun? I think not.

WHO says brace for pandemic. Ontario had no ICU beds available.

2009-04-30T16:26:00.002Z

We are on the verge of a possible catastrophe. The WHO warns the world to brace for the swine flu pandemic. Millions could die.

And Ontario has zero availability in their Intensive Care Units?

Can this be right?

Last week, a family attempted to have a woman flown home from Cancun after she suffered a debilitating asthma attack. Her return was blocked by Health Canada at first, (apparently fearing spread of the Swine flue,) and when they relented, she was not allowed to return because of a lack of availability in intensive care.

Read the Globe and Mail article here.

Had she been returned quickly, would she have lived?

Only a doctor familiar with her case could provide probabilities on that question. But you can't deny that Cancun has their own hospitalization issues to worry about, and that might have compromised her quality of care while down there.

As saddened as I am about the tragedy for this family, the real issue is there are no ICU beds available in Ontario. On the verge of a pandemic, that's a scary proposition.

Stop it, just stop it.

2009-04-22T16:17:00.002Z

Think back to the most frustrating moment of your life, a time when something very unfair happened to you.

Perhaps it was a business deal that went sour and someone walked off with a bunch of your money.

Perhaps it was not getting paid for a job.

Maybe it was seeing an incompetent co-worker getting a raise while you put up with harassment. Maybe you got fired for his mistake.

You might have been accused of something you were innocent of. It could have been a wrongful court judgement.

Maybe a professor marked your unfairly, or somehow your test score was impossibly low when you were sure you’d aced it.

You were by far the best qualified for the job, but it went to someone else.

It sucks, but a few days or weeks pass and you move on with your life, the bitter memories fade into insignificance.
Take your most frustrating moment, add torture, imprisonment, having your family ripped apart, and have the moment drag on for over five years, and you might get a sense of what Abousfian Abdelrazik has been going through.
It wasn’t bad enough that they accused him of being a terrorist without any legitimate proof.

It wasn’t enough that the Sudanese government tortured him, imprisoned him, and then said they were mistaken and that he was in fact innocent.

It wasn’t enough that the RCMP cleared him of ANY criminal activity.

It wasn’t enough that CSIS cleared him of any criminal activity.

The Canadian government refuses to let Abousfian Abdelrazik return home to Canada for no good reason!

If you were to ask him which torture was worse, the Sudanese interrogators or Canadian bureaucracy, I think I know what his answer would be?

That is what the Canadian government is doing, torturing him psychologically.

It’s the torture of never being able to meet the criteria to see your family, to return home, to go back to your life and normality.

It’s the torture of not being able to see your child grow from a little girl into a young woman.

It’s the torture of having your wife divorce you, perhaps because she thinks you’re a criminal.

It’s the torture of having her die and not being able to hold her hand one last time.

The Canadian government is the torturer.

Stop it, just stop it. Let him come home.

Buying a used car in Eastern Ontario?

2009-04-22T13:49:00.004Z

If you thought coming here would lead you to a car auction website, I'm sorry but it won't. I'm likely having the same troubles as you are.

A Google search reveals a frustrating series of interconnected links that never get you any closer to finding where a car auction actually takes place. It's the worst of the worst of search frustration. I did manage to find an auction somewhere, but it was restricted to dealers only.

If you're looking for a car auction, a better option is to scour the local newspapers, or even their online counterparts.

When dealers attend car auctions, reputable dealers will only bid on cars with no major accident histories and will have a mechanic check to make sure that the vehicles are sound. Often, these are lease returns.

Used car dealers are notorious for being shady characters. The worst of the worst prey on unsuspecting customers. They'll pay peanuts for a damaged car at an auction, (a car that a reputable used car dealer won't touch), and find a car report agency that shows the car as having an accident-free history. If you think you are getting a "great deal," then there's a chance the car was damaged.

BNN just ran a story about the company Car Fax, the car history reporting agency. Their histories are often incomplete. If you are on the verge of buying a car, either take it to a mechanic right away, or, if you don't know of a reliable mechanic near the dealer, make sure they have a two week return policy so you can get it checked out properly. Make sure you tell the dealer you are doing that, and that you expect to have your money back if the car doesn't pass inspection. Some dealers will try and force an exchange for another vehicle, but be vigilant and work a money-back-guarantee into the fine print.

When I went to look at a used Toyota Corolla at a dealership, they were asking $12,500 on the sticker price. I'd found a similar used vehicle for under ten, and wanted to try and bargain the dealers down. It didn't work, but the most demoralizing part was, as I walked out, somehow the final price had increased to over $14,000, with dealer fees and other hidden costs worked on. Some bargaining skills eh?

I walked away with no desire to return to that dealership.

Some dealers will bargain, others won't. Research beforehand whether you can wheel and deal, or whether the price is the price. My rule is to try and negotiate the final price to between 3% and 10% below the actual sticker price. Make it clear right away that you don't want to hear about "extra" costs. You don't care about them, you are sitting down and negotiating the final price and the dealer can put his list of extra costs away.

Walk away if you have to. If they know the deal is good for them, they'll bring you back.

If you are buying privately, the same 'mechanic' caveats apply. The two websites I use for used vehicles are kijiji.ca and autotrader.ca.

Kijiji has far superior search capability and is easier to navigate.

Autotrader includes dealer cars and may have a bigger inventory, while it's big downfall is that you can't do a search of your own city. Instead, you're looking at an entire region and, if you live in Kingston like me, you might have to drive for three hours to find your car.

Both are prone to hijacking, dealers in other cities putting cars up in the wrong category. I report them as spam on Kijiji, and get frustrated when reading them on autotrader.

Talk to friends and others about reputable dealers and their experiences. Google the dealers name and look for good and bad stories about them, although be wary, if a dealer sells enough cars, one is bound to be a lemon and get a bad review. But if they're trying to pass off damaged goods as having immaculate histories, that's another story and are the kind of dealership you definitely want to stay away from.

If you want to know about a brand's reliability history and general problems a vehicle is known to have, a good place to look is consumerreports.com. For a few dollars, you can get a one month membership.

Happy hunting.

The UN Summit on Racism

2009-04-20T22:12:00.006Z

I'm currently reading a book called The State of Africa.

I'm in the middle of the second chapter on Rwanda. If things truly unfolded in Rwanda the way this book says they did, then it's shocking how the UN was a counterproductive entity in that conflict.

The UN had the not-so-brilliant idea of holding a second UN summit on racism. As though it might somehow be resolved by bringing racist people together and promoting dialogue.

Few were surprised when the president of Iran's anti-Israel speech caused an uproar. Leaders walked out of the summit. He ruined the little party of people trying to do the right thing, but never quite getting it right.

Every time I hear the words anti-Semitic, I have to read the words for myself. I wonder whether it's a knee-jerk reaction to the slightest criticism of Israel, or genuine lies and hatred spreading anti-Semetic rhetoric. As often as not, it's an overreaction to justified criticism.

So when I heard that diplomats walked out of a UN conference on racism during a speech by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, I sought to read it for myself. Here are some key quotes from his address, followed by my thoughts:

The victorious powers [of the world wars] call themselves the conquerors of the world, while ignoring or down-treading the rights of other nations by the imposition of oppressive laws and international arrangements.

So far, controversial, but not untrue.

Following World War Two, they resorted to making an entire nation homeless on the pretext of Jewish suffering. They sent migrants from Europe, the United States and other parts of the world in order to establish a totally racist government in the occupied Palestine. In compensation for the dire consequences of racism in Europe, they helped bring to power the most cruel and repressive, racist regime in Palestine.

If you changed 'totally racist' to 'racist,' and 'most cruel' to 'cruel,' then this wouldn't be too far of a spin off the truth. Still controversial though. And yes, at this point, if not anti-semetic, then definitely anti-Israeli.

It is all the more regrettable that a number of Western governments and the United States have committed themselves to defending those racist perpetrators of genocide, whilst the awakened consciences and free-minded people of the world condemn aggression, brutality and the bombardment of civilians of Gaza.

Again, a terrible choice of words. "Genocide," should be, "War crimes." Rwanda was a genocide. Hitler vs the Jews was a genocide. A few hundred dead Palestinians a year is not a genocide. You could argue 'war crimes' and be okay. When you grossly exaggerate or outright lie, your entire speech becomes an irrelevant rant.

[Conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan were] a clear example of egocentrism, racism, discrimination or infringement upon the dignity and independence of nations.

Afghanistan was attacked because they supported a terrorist organization who attacked a powerful foreign country. Their leaders were asking to get ousted. That said, the words racism and discrimination can relate to issues within the conflicts, while egocentrism is more in line with the poor execution and lingering challenges in both. A valid argument would be how oppressive regimes were replaced by corrupt and incompetent ones, and how security has deteriorated. Again, poor words. While criticism is fine, to simplify a complicated issue into one of racism, as though it explains every mistake committed, is a poor way to get a message across.

Today, the human community is facing a kind of racism which has tarnished the image of humanity. In the beginning of the third millennium, the word Zionism personifies racism, that falsely resorts to religion and abuses religious sentiments to hide hatred.

All racism tarnishes the image of humanity. Israel, Israel, Israel. I reread this passage numerous times and it doesn't really make a lot of sense.
I struggle to find accurate estimates of numbers of Palestinians killed, but it's a drop in the bucket compared to five years in Darfur. Where is the Arab indignation? Muslims are dying after all.

Efforts must be made to put an end to the abuse by Zionists and their supporters of political and international means... Governments must be encouraged and supported in the fight aimed at eradicating this barbaric racism and moving towards reforming the current international mechanisms.

If Ahmadinejad's speech wasn't so overbearing up to this point, then this part might have some merit.

You are all aware of the conspiracy of some powers and Zionist circles against the goals and objectives of this conference... It should be recognised that boycotting such a session is a true indication of supporting the blatant example of racism.

Or they could be boycotting based on the fact that people like Ahmadinejad are there. You just proved it was a waste of time.

In conclusion, Ahmadinejad's comments, as translated and posted by the BBC, were definitely anti-Israeli and anti-Zionist, which by definition are one and the same. Saying that being anti-Zionist is the same as anti-Semetic is different argument. By definition, anti-semitic is discriminating against Jews. While being anti-Israeli can carry such undertones, I think a distinction should be made between the two.

Spreading mistruths and blatant exaggeration of circumstances is racist, and for that the international reaction to this nut is warranted.

But I would hesitate to use the definition anti-Semetic. I consider it no more anti-Semitic than spreading lies about American transgressions is anti-Christian.

So, is a UN summit on racism a good thing?

Definition: racism or racialism
Noun
1. hostile or oppressive behaviour towards people because they belong to a different race
2. the belief that some races are innately superior to others because of hereditary characteristics

I find it interesting that an international organization controlled by the will of five Nations, each of which vetoes taking action against 'racist' acts based on their own self interest, is hosting a racism summit.

To conclude, Ahmadinejad had a chance to make real arguments about an increasing mistrust of Muslims throughout the world (which in his particular case is not entirely unwarranted.) He could have shown examples, (Abdelrazik, Guantanimo), of the West putting aside its morals and values when it comes to Muslims who often turn out to be innocent.
He could have eliminated the controversy over Israel's existence from his rant and tied in Muslim frustration into a real concern over the international lack of condemnation when Israel crosses the line between defending itself and committing atrocities.

He could have used the platform to be a model voice for Muslim outrage. Instead, he was an embarrassment not only to his country and his religion, but to the United Nations.

Toddler Toys, advice from a Dad

2009-04-12T14:01:00.005Z

So you're at the toy section, wandering amid all the colours, pressing different buttons to hear silly sounds, looking at different features, sizes, prices.

There are good toys, and there are bad toys. And there are bad toys which seem like good toys at the time, but really really aren't.

Bad toys, IMO, are ones that need a lot of time cleaning up. The pools of plastic balls, the lego sets, the blocks. While one of these is alright, try not to overdo it. In fact, don't buy them at all. There's a good chance some uncle or aunt or cousin who doesn't have children will see these toys and think, "Hey, let's get little nephew these."

In my opinion, the worst toddler toy out there is - Puzzle books. A toddler, once he figures out how to take the puzzle pieces out of the book, does just that. Page after page. And you get one huge mess of puzzle pieces that parents have trouble sorting through, let alone a two year old. Not that parents do sort through them. Once they're out, they're out. If you do take the half hour needed to sort through the puzzle pieces and put them back in (like anyone actually would), then they are all over the place again the next time the kid gets the book.

Before I mention the best toy, I want to say this. I went to Toys'R'Us, and they didn't have them. Walmart didn't have them either, or Zellers, or all the usual suspects you would think have a big toy selection.

I'm talking about a toy that a parent and a child can enjoy together. Something interactive, where a parent gets as much joy out of it as the child. A toy that a baby enjoys, a toddler, and right up to a teenager enjoys. Something you can grow into a collection. Some adults even make a living with variations of these toys.

What is it you ask?

The puppet.

In Kingston, ON, I buy them at a local specialty toy and education store called Play and Learn. It's on the corner of Princess and Gardners across from the shopping centre.

Think about it this way.

Dolls and stuffed animals are boring!

Kids play with them for a minute, go grrr, or make sounds, etc, then lose interest. But puppets! You can make them into real characters. There are pirate puppets, policemen, firemen, dinosaurs, crocodiles, pigs, you name it, they have it. There are puppet theatres, (which you can make your own out of cardboard and some cloth, or with wood if you want a bigger project.) And unlike all the countless useless toys lined up on the shelf and in the toy box, a parent can actually play together with the kids and have fun with a puppet.

Other toys I recommend.

Fridge sound and magnet toys - Keeps them occupied while you cook and clean.

Jack in the box - The classic pop gets them every time. They'll play for hours and not get tired. Best of all, it doesn't cost as much as the branded and highly advertised dolls etc.

Kite - Great for windy days. At less than $2 at the dollar store, you can't go wrong, even if it flies away after the first use. Some extra advice, attach a dog leash to the handle so if the child lets go, you have a backup. Oh, and stay away from trees.

Why I feel so strongly about Abdelrazik's injustice.

2009-04-05T17:53:00.003Z

Watching this whole ordeal unfold brings back a lot of painful memories, some related, and others not so much.

They remind me of some of the most unpleasant memories of my life. I assume most people, if they dig deep enough, can recall an unfair decision they were powerless to change.

Just thinking about it gets your blood boiling.

If one thing is apparant from Mr. Abdelrazik's plight and the George Galloway affair, it's that too much power rests in the hands of certain people. In these cases, certain incompetent people. Hopefully these tragedies will help get this situation changed.

As for my bad experiences with immigration. I'm still bitter. I'm still mad as hell. And there's still sweet nothing I can do about it.

Except this. Make as much noise as possible when I see it happen to someone else. Do my bit to help draw more attention to it, get it fixed, and then move on with my life.

People might think if I am so angry about Abdelrazik, then I must also sympathize with Khadr in Guantanimo. In truth, I really don't. He made a mistake and the only question is, how much longer is he going to have to pay for it.

My answer, I honestly don't care.

At worst, Mr Abdelrazik has, to my knowledge, made no such mistake. At best, if he has and our government can prove it, then he deserves to face his accusers and have his day in court.

Their is a hot debate going on right now about whether a Muslim woman can wear her veil while testifying at a rape case in Toronto. The court ruled that she had to remove the veil when testifying because the accused rapist has the right to face his accuser.

I imagine Mr Abdelrazik dreams of such a right. One of many rights denied by the Canadian government for over five years now.

What Can You Do to Help Abousfian Abdelrazik?

2009-04-04T15:09:00.006Z

My wife and I have run into frustrating and humiliating visa problems at the Canadian Embassy before. I've also had trouble, while overseas, getting a Canadian Passport replaced. You can read about my personal passport problems in Cairo here.

You can read about my wife's visa troubles here, and here, and here

Not to mention other related stories if you were to scour through my blog.

While my wife and I have jumped through a few hoops and felt indignation, Mr Abdelrazik has gone through absolute hell.

So what can you do to support Mr. Abdelrazik?

Firstly, contacting the Canadian Embassy in Sudan is useless, unless you want to try and talk to Mr. Abdelrazik directly and blog about his answers.

Secondly, spread the word. Join facebook groups such as this one. Invite friends to join the facebook group. Create more facebook groups, other groups, and just get the word out there that a Canadian citizen is having his rights violated by our own government.

Another facebook group is here.

Third: Complain to your local member of Parliament. You can find your local member of parliament and their contact info via this website.

Financially supporting Mr. Abdelrazik is a slippery slope. The danger being, you could be deemed to be funding a suspected terrorist and have some vindictive element in the Canadian government put you on their naughty list. While I will blog and shout and cry indignation, I've not yet committed myself to taking actions beyond using the mighty pen, err, keyboard. Whether or not you do is up to you.

Hrmm...

2009-04-03T18:06:00.002Z

I got this message in my email.

Hi ,

I came across your blog at Blogger.com. It is very well written and interesting. I like how you have explored the topic. If you are interested, I would like to extend an invitation to join http://www.allvoices.com/journalism. It’s a citizen journalist site. We discuss, debate and write about everything under the sun here.The site has a lot of people who are passionate about writing and use this as a tool to make a difference.

Allvoices also has an incentive programme for writers who can earn up to $10,000 cash. You can visit http://www.allvoices.com/journalism for more details and do register if you are interested.

Thanks,

Tara

As someone wary of vanity publishers etc, it would be nice to know which blog you thought highly of, otherwise this just seems like a random email sent to bloggers you happened to come across. While $10,000 interests me, I'm wondering if my chances aren't better if I go the the local Tim Hortons and roll up the rim. At least I know they'll pay out if I win.

I'm going back editing my book now.

Death by bureaucracy. Stuck at the Sudanese Canadian Embassy

2009-04-03T15:40:00.005Z

In case you believed my post the other day, please read the first letter of each line.

Now for my blog...

And I thought Sudan was an annoyingly bureaucratic country. Here's an excerpt from my chapter after a week in the country.

"In government offices, sweaty lethargic men in cheap-cut suits shuffled papers behind their desks. The only decorations in the offices were glass-framed pictures of their bald, heavy-set president Omar al-Bashir. His thin moustache highlighted the grimace on his face. He had a hooked beak of a nose and ferret-like eyes.

His stern expression seemed to convey a sense of urgency, and since I always saw him when dealing with paperwork, for me, he illustrated the urgency of Sudanese bureaucracy. A permit to travel, a permit to stay in Khartoum, a permit for the car, photographs, photocopies… "

Abousfian Abdelrazik, a Sudanese-Canadian citizen, has been in Sudan since 2003. He's unable to return home to Montreal where he has his children because his name's been put on a US security threat blacklist.

He travelled to Sudan in 2003 to visit his ailing mother. He was subsequently arrested, tortured, released, interrogated by US and Canadian security agencies, and after all that, has sought refuge in the Canadian embassy for the past 11 months. He's afraid to go out onto the streets of Khartoum because he fears arrest and further torture, imprisonment, or even death.

One thing confuses me though Mr Harper. He's on a no fly list, but flew out of Canada. How does that work exactly?

If he is guilty of something, pursue a criminal investigation and CHARGE him. Don't just tread all over his rights.

The RCMP and CSIS both exonerated him of any criminal activity. The Harper government hasn't.

It's a disgrace on par with the internment of Japanese citizens during World War II and it shows a scary anti-Muslim sentiment on part of Canada's top leadership.

That might bode well with some voters. But let's seriously think of the repurcussions of this. It brews resentment and stokes the fires of people who might actually be violent extremists living inside Canada. Is that a good thing?

If we are violating the rights of someone who has not had due process, it jeopardises the legitimacy of the Canadian justice system. It casts a shadow upon all terrorist investigations because of the cruel, unfair, and seemingly arbitrary decisions made at the top level.

Bring him back, investigate him, charge him, do what you want when he gets back to Canada. Just don't leave him in indeterminate limbo, not to mention promising one thing and doing another.

It's disgusting.

I've Been Arrested

2009-04-01T18:55:00.003Z

After getting up this morning, I was in the shower and washing off
Parts of my body. Suddenly, there was a loud knock at the door.
Raging police officers burst into the house.
Instead of getting becoming a cop, I was getting arrested.
LET GO OF ME," I shouted.

For goodness sake, I'd done nothing wrong.
Over six hours later, my parents bailed me out.
One of the charges was related to drug trafficking while I was in
Liberia. Only problem is, I've never been to Liberia.
Seriously, I don't know what to do. Anyone have advice?

Are the Borders going Bananas!

2009-03-30T13:23:00.009Z

A lot of political border decisions have been made recently that defy logic.

George Bush entered Canada a couple weeks ago to give his first post-presidency speech. Protests and indignation about his war criminal past abounded. His questionable record and presidency aside, if he was denied entry, the only pleasure I would derive from it would be the humiliation factor. I'd probably disagree with the decision, solely based on the fact that I'd want to hear what he has to say about all of his mistakes and the mess he left behind. I'd also disagree with a refusal of Bush based on principals of free speech, not rocking the boat, and keeping our ties sane with the USA.

It seems the Canadian border officials have a double standard however. It has no problems slapping another ally in the face by rejecting one of their ministers. British Minister George Galloway has been denied entry into Canada because he helped deliver humanitarian aid to dying, suffering and starving Palestinians during the Israeli invasion.

I don't know where this decision is coming from. It's easy enough to blame Stephen Harper. The free speech stifling is in line with his Bush-style rule and Israel-can-do-no-wrong political stance, but I'm painfully aware of the rigidity and questionable decision making processes of Canada's Immigration officials, as well as the Canadian government's inability to get involved. In immigration matters, the Canadian government has a hands-off approach like one would expect in high-profile police investigations or criminal court proceedings.

I do however think this should be a rallying cry for Liberals and New Democrats. If they can't organize a true coalition, then at least unite in some of your criticisms. This is one of a dozen potential overthrow issues, get down to it and start criticizing.

Surprisingly, the madness is not just restricted to Canada. The British minister may be getting denied for sympathizing with a suffering group of people, but it's not the worst immigration decision made in the past weeks.

South Africa, Africa's shining beacon of fairness, equality and human rights, denied entrance to the Dalai Lama last week! I'm shaking my head right now. It defies logic! I might at least understand denying entrance to, say, Winnie Mandela. Or even the Pope into an African country hard hit by the HIV epidemic. But the Dalai Lama? The man whose country was invaded by China, and has for years preached a peaceful resolution. A man who more than any other, and perhaps only seconded by Nelson Mandela himself, symbolizes peace and forgiveness and everything that's good about the world.

Who made that decision?

Qatar, meanwhile, is hosting none other than the man recently indicted for War Crimes by the ICC, Omar Al Bashir.

Are the borders going bananas?

The search for the perfect car...

2009-03-27T14:06:00.004Z

My wife and I are looking at new cars, or perhaps even slightly used ones.

Our range is as small as the Honda Civic and as big as the Suburu Forrester SUV.

Considerations.

Price: While lower is better, our price maximum hovers around $25,000.

Reliability: Toyota and Honda lead the pack in reliability. Based solely on the reliability factor, I've discounted buying any US car company vehicles.

Economy: Fuel efficient is better. While my wife wants an automatic, I'm all for the more efficient manual transmission. Manual cars usually rate higher on reliability too.

Size: Bigger is better, we are a family.

Perks: It's nice to have base models with AC, cruise, a storage area for an ipod, heated seats, etc.

Comfort/Ride: Not a big deal for me, but something my wife is adamant about, thus her desire for an automatic.

Incentives: There are murmurs of various government incentives to boost the car industry. While I've got negative opinions on whether the government should actually do this, I wouldn't complain of having a few thousand bucks knocked off a car I was buying.

Other smaller factors are: Asthetic appeal, accident avoidance, acceleration, owner costs, possible built in Canada/America incentives; and financing options.

With these considerations, I bought a one month membership on the site consumerreports.org It cost six or seven dollars. I think I have to cancel it because it automatically renews. For another fifty dollars, you can ask for the exact dealer costs on four models. The following four are what we currently are considering asking about:

Honda Civic: The first car I ever owned, and later, the first car my wife and I bought together were Civics. Fuel efficient, affordable, top marks in reliability and familiarity are what the Civic has going for it. While the downsides are size and perks. Civic's base models are just that, very basic, and we'll have to get some upgrades which will push the price upwards. Civics are a good prospect for government incentives, with SI models built in Canada, and other models built in the US.

Honda Accord: The Accord scores high marks in reliability and the size is definitely better than the Civic. The price is pushing our maximum, although we can always bargain. Fuel efficiency, while not the super Civic, is good. One worry I have with the Accord is a big drop off in ratings between the Manual and Automatic transmissions. Manual is definitely the way to go for this car. While not built in Canada, they are built in Ohio, and most probably with some Canadian parts.

Nissan Altima: The Altima's upsides are that it has a good basic options plan and they offer zero percent financing for three years. A price question mark is that I don't know how low they'll go with the financing option vs cash outright. They are the sleekest looking car of the ones we are looking at and score top marks in comfort. Reliability, while historically good, is a little less certain than Hondas. The price is pushing our limits too, with the quoted total price from the dealer being around 29K, although we'd ideally bargain down below our maximum. Altima's are built in Japan, so potential government incentives may not apply.

Subaru Forrester: When I think of Subaru's, I think of sturdy vehicles that can go offroad - basically, a base model rally vehicle.The Forrester is the highest overall rated SUV in its class (small SUV) according to Consumer Reports, and though it says small, it feels bigger than the CRV or Rav4. They tend to have the best base options plan of the bunch, with cruise, heated seats, AC, and a cool hidden area to connect an ipod. It's the biggest vehicle we're looking at. For all those great perks, the downsides are, a big vehicle means less fuel efficiency. Another factor is potential resale value, which could be seriously downgraded if we have another oil price surge. Reliability is said to be good, although again, it's not a Honda or a Toyota. While I dream of a Land Cruiser, my pocketbook says Forrester. I believe it's built in Japan, thus might be exempt from potential gov't incentives.

Cars still on the radar, but not quite on the list...

Toyota Camry and Corolla: The Camry ratings are a little lower than expected. Reliability doesn't get top marks, like one would expect, and for everything it has, the Accord is just a little better. The Corolla stacks up similarly as not quite the Honda Civic. Still, they're worth watching for potential Canadian-made government incentives, particularly the Canadian made Corollas.

Honda CRV: While rated very higly and getting top marks in reliability, my wife finds them uncomfortable. My problem with the CRV is it doesn't hit me as a real SUV ala something I can take offroad and have fun with. While I wouldn't necessarily go rallying if we bought a Forrester, it's nice to have some offroad faith in a vehicle.

Volkswagen Jetta: The Turbo diesel really appeals to me, and the Jetta price is in our range. The downsides are reliability is tough to determine on the updated model, and I'm under the impression that replacement parts are costly for VWs. This could be a stereotype, but it's a factor in my decision, just like the stereotype of American cars being junkers has made me discount them. The big draw for a VW is that my journey was done in an old VW Beetle, the Beach Buggy, and it therefore has a lot of nostalgic value. Though the sporty Golf would maximize this feeling, however the car we will eventually buy is more for my wife than for me. Instead of buying a dub right now, a dream I'll hold onto is to one day fly down to Mexico, buy an old VW Beetle, and drive it back to Canada.

Other factors at play here are: I'm expecting to hear an overdue job offer any day now; The potential government incentives may never materialize; Is the recent stock market rally a blip in the downward trend or the start of a bullish recovery?; Whether an unbelievable deal on a lightly used car drops onto my lap (and I still swear that I won't buy from the big three). And finally, who will give me the closest price point to the actual dealer cost of a vehicle.

Then there's always the possibility of an about turn by my wife to buy a cheaper, smaller, used vehicle in the 10k range to tie us over until we are more settled...

The Bashir Arrest Warrant.

2009-03-04T19:31:00.004Z

I think it's about time, but I also wonder what's the point.

The timing is as right as any to sign an arrest warrant for one of the worst tyrants currently in power, if not the worst.

Six months ago, the timing was wrong.

This is not because he was less guilty, but because his ability to rouse anti-US sentiment is substantially weakened today due to the American political shift. The world is still awestruck by Barack Obama, whereas George Bush was extremely unpopular.

The result, the arrest warrant now appears less like some American-led conspiracy to break apart the Muslim world and steal oil, and more like a decision based on Omar Al-Bashir's genocidal record.

While Bashir attempts to conjure up the victimized image, fewer people are likely to buy it.

Then again, aside from limiting his travel options, does the arrest warrant for war crimes and crimes against humanity really serve any purpose other than riling him up? Worst case scenario, he boots out all foreign presence in Darfur and goes for that elusive title of genocidal maniac.

The Bell Button

2009-03-02T21:19:00.002Z

Sometimes phone lines get wet and start to crackle, or not work at all. To correct this, Bell used to tell their consumers to unplug all the phones. They would send an electric shock through the phone lines to zap all the water out of the system. If the phones were plugged in, they got fried.

I wish I had access to that magic button that sends electric shocks through the phone lines. I'd use it to zap those con-artist phone numbers where a machine tells me I've won a cruise, or my car insurance is about to expire, or my credit card is overdue, or whatever BS they're pushing.

Zap... BANG!

That's for costing me another fifty cents on my pay as you go plan, wankers!

Is failure in Afghanistan Inevitable?

2009-03-02T15:00:00.005Z

It was shortly after the big Y2K scare that I was in Zimbabwe. I went to visit the ruins just south of Masivingo. A Zimbabwean guide walked with me through the low-cut grass, up the nearby escarpment where the long-forgotten king had resided, and to the great Zimbabwe wall. He explained the former kingdom, and concepts such as how the rocks were broken with fire and water in order to build the impressive towering wall.

During a break in the tour, as we sat on a jutting rock that overlooked the valley below, I asked him what he though of Robert Mugabe.
"We are at peace," he said, " and I am happy for that, so I support Mugabe."

After having read the BBC and other foreign newspapers calling Mugabe a crazed tyrant, the young man's answer surprised me. While this was in Zimbabwe, he could just as easily have been an Afghanistan guide in the very same year, supporting the Taliban.

I blogged some time ago about Harper's mistakes in Afghanistan.

Some time before that, it was Jack Layton who said success in Afghanistan meant bringing the Taliban on board. Layton was immediately lambasted by Stephen Harper, called Taliban Jack, an extremist sympathizer, and every other name in the book.

So I find it serendipitous that now, Stephen Harper admits the Taliban can't be beaten. The Taliban can't be beaten, under fair international rules anyhow, for many reasons: They're hard to find and have safe havens just across the border in Pakistan; they can create converts faster than we can destroy them; and perhaps most importantly, they provide an alternative that no matter how many downfalls it has, has upsides too.

The first upside is that, under the Taliban, Afghanistan saw it's first 'relatively' peaceful times in memory. The Taliban's extreme religious beliefs and archaic interpretations of Islam also brought extreme justice. While women were downtrodden, justice was archaic, and social freedoms abysmal, the archaic justice kept people in line, and that meant peace.

The allied alternative presents social freedoms, women's rights, democracy, generous rebuilding programs and a theoretically fairer justice system. On the downside, as long as the Taliban lurk in the shadows blowing things up, targeting civilians, and causing havoc, we can't provide the one thing they could, peace.

But the allied alternative fails in other ways. Leniency led to corruption, which has replaced fear of reprisal that existed under the Taliban. Essentially, people are a lot less willing to steal when the last guy who got caught had his right hand chopped off.

I've always believed that in order to defeat the Taliban, the allied forces had to present a better alternative and win over Afghanistan ideologically. Having starting off with a war, they were on the back foot to begin with. Meanwhile, the Taliban saw it in their best interests to cause chaos at every opportunity because that meant, at the very least, the allied forces couldn't provide peace, which was the one thing the Taliban had provided.

So do the allies need to bring the Taliban on board?

It is an unpleasant prospect. It was Taliban support of Osama Bin Laden that got them invaded in the first place, and deservedly so. Their ideology is the opposite of what many Western ideals preach. Among their many unconscionable crimes against humanity, they target girls seeking education, and civilians in crowded places.

My biggest fear, if forced to deal with the Taliban, is their unwavering ideology. The progresses we have made could be turned back. Worst of all, we'd be giving into people who actively supported attacking us.

I fear the Taliban are no longer a political force, but an ideologically driven force bent on purging Western influences and the Western invasion. I fear negotiation isn't in their interest, purging Muslim lands of Western influence and setting up a Bin-Laden inspired Islamic Republic complete with violent ideologies is. They hate us and everything we stand for, and vice versa. At worst, this means that the trust isn't their to even open negotiations. At best, it means we're in for some tough concessions.

Book Reports - The Hiram Key

2009-02-26T12:13:00.004Z

I recently read a book that I'd found on the used books shelf at the local charity shop. It was called the Hiram Key.

It was a book about Freemasons, an organisation that in some ways seems silly, and others fascinating. The author traces the roots of Freemasonry back through time, suggesting they have links to ancient Egyptian rituals, which directly influenced the rise of Judaism and Christianity. He goes onto suggest Freemasons spawned from the Knight's Templar of France, who were themselves the guardians and seekers of historical truth, the knowledge thereof leading to claims of Heresy and their downfall.

I don't have any interest in reading stories of religious epiphany or someone's road to finding Jesus, or Moses, or Mohammad. I am however fascinated by the history of it all. I want to know more about the times of these impressive figures, how they lived and changed the world. More than anything, I want snippets of the truth, especially if it's controversial.
I'm like someone hanging on every word of the tabloids and their latest dirt on Brittany, Branjolina, or you name it. Except my fascination is about different religions and how they got it wrong.

The Hiram Key is most controversial toward the Catholic Church, saying it was a creation of the dying Roman Empire in a bid for it to retain power. It claims the Catholic Church relied almost solely on the misguided religious interpretations of Paul, whom among other upstart Christian groups in the holy land, was considered a complete charlaton who filled in the holes of his sketchy understanding of Jesus with his own ideas.

It's controversial and I like it...

As a child, saying the Lords Prayer every day at school, I used to think it finished with, "All men." It makes sense to a child, as though that final blessing is reserved for everyone, though a staunch feminist might disagree. So where did Amen come from anyway?

It's a word that all three religions, Judaism, Christiantiy, and Islam, finish their prayers with. According to the Hiram key, it was a link between ancient Egypt's most powerful god and ceremonies, and modern religion. It was a reference to Amen Ra, the Egyptian sun god.

The Hiram Key, Pharoh's, Freemasonry and the Secret Scrolls of Jesus: A worthwhile read if you are like me and enjoy some different perspectives on history. If you can get past it's main weakness, that it often passed off conjecture as truth in order to further other points of conjecture, then you're in for an entertaining tale, and a peek into a secretive sect of society that dates back through the centuries and continues to capture people's imaginations.

A Billion Earths?

2009-02-16T01:34:00.004Z

A decade ago, it was widely touted that the earth was unique. We were a cosmic fluke, the perfect location, the perfect sun, the perfect protection from other planets.

Newsflash, most solar systems form planets. According to recent publications, there could be a billion earth like planets in our galaxy. Our galaxy is one of billions of galaxies in the observable universe.

According to Wikipedia, "Our galaxy is estimated to contain at least 200 billion stars^[8] and possibly up to 400 billion stars,^[9] the exact figure depending on the number of very low-mass stars, which is highly uncertain."

I would guess that the nearest earth-like planet is within 20 light years. Furthermore, I would guess that the nearest earth-like planet and star worthy of serious life-giving contemplation is within 50 light years.

Jihad - Installment III

2009-02-13T14:32:00.003Z

Jihad:

1: a holy war waged on behalf of Islam as a religious duty ;

also : a personal struggle in devotion to Islam especially involving spiritual discipline

2: a crusade for a principle or belief

My experience with Majid and his friend wasn't my first experience with Arab hospitality, nor would it be my last. Throughout my time in the Middle East, I'd been invited for tea on several occasions. Taxis were paid for by locals whom I'd asked for directions. Sodas and teas were bought for me. In fact, anytime I asked for help, I found this bend-over-backwards hospitality to be second nature. If you asked for directions, people didn't just point and explain, but they detoured their course and walked with you to get there. If you asked where you could buy a soda, they'd sit you down and rush to the store to buy one for you.

After my experience in Saudi Arabia, I asked a Jordanian why two complete strangers would be so kind. The answer I received was this: "Muslims believe that a traveller might actually be an angel from heaven. It is their duty to be generous to all strangers, thus it reflect positively on their chances of entering heaven."

In a sense, that fits with the non-violent definition of Jihad. Through generosity, kindness and hospitality, a good Muslim hopes to show behaviour that reflects well on their internal struggle, that being to appear worthy of the ultimate goal, which is going to heaven. Therefore the deeper meaning behind Jihad can be defined as the struggle to appear worthy in the eyes of Allah.

In this sense, such an act, falls under one of the five pillars of Islam, Zakat.

Definition zakat (zə-kät`)

Islamic religious tax, one of the five basic requirements (arkan or "pillars") of Islam. All adult Muslims of sound mind and body with a set level of income and assets are expected to pay zakat. Zakat is due yearly on certain types of property and is distributed to eight categories of individuals specified by the Qur'an. These categories are usually defined to include orphans, the poor, travelers, beggars, debtors, slaves, and the efforts to propagate Islam. Zakat is payable, at different rates, on crops, harvests, herds, gold and silver, and merchandise. For gold and silver, which is understood to include all liquid assets, the rate is 2.5%. Being religiously prescribed, zakat is distinct from charity (sadaqa) which is voluntary. Zakat is essentially a personal exercise with no intermediary control, and could be given directly to its recipients, although a central treasury often collects it. In recent times, Pakistan, Sudan, and Saudi Arabia have enacted legislation to enforce the zakat.

This helps explain why the hospitality or assistance often results in a gift or monetary help, paying for a taxi, a soda, etc. Particularly in the Zakat categories of travellers and the efforts to propagate Islam.

So when I asked the Jordanian about why someone would be so kind to a traveller, perhaps hidden in his answer about angels was also the effort to propoage Islam.

So where does violence fit into Jihad?

A more apt definition of Jihadist might be hero, in the sense that it is someone that stands up to an aggressor for principles they believe in. I like to think they are willing to fight and die for a just cause. In ancient times, a band of ragtag desert tribesmen wielding swords and facing down an army was a more realistic interpretation. In modern times, a bomb is dropped on the Jihadi, or a shot fired from an impregnable tank, etc.

Every religion has its heroes. Often the most revered are those who refused to renounce their faith in the face of death or disfigurement. That is perhaps the true Jihadist. Not someone who perceives an injustice and mass murders indiscriminately. In their anger and blame, such a reaction means they are losing the inner struggle for goodness. IMHO, it is retroactive to the deeper Zakat meaning of propagating their faith.

My Run-in with Jihad - Part I

2009-02-11T18:55:00.007Z

Jihad:

1: a holy war waged on behalf of Islam as a religious duty ;

also : a personal struggle in devotion to Islam especially involving spiritual discipline

2: a crusade for a principle or belief

This is a blog about an amazing coincidence.

It starts here, in the chapter I wrote about my time in Saudi Arabia.

My Saudi Arabian memories had been mostly bad up to this point. I’d been delayed at the point of entry to near starvation, and I was later kicked out of a city for not being a Muslim. Outside those unfortunate blips however, I’d been mostly treated with respect, been approached with a kindly curiosity, and was even invited to sip tea on plush red carpets on several occasions.

Then, turning my conceptions of Saudi Arabians completely upside down, I came across Majid and his friend.

If you haven't already, click on the above link and read my chapter about Saudi Arabia. Otherwise, the remainder will confuse you.

It was two years later, and I was in Morocco now. I’ve read the

New York Times a handful of times in my life. This was one of those rare occasions it came across my lap and I found this article.

If you can't read it, I found another posting of it online, here.

The second paragraph caught my attention.

“He went to Iraq seeking Martyrdom because of the recent events there,” Abdullah Al-Enezi said of his younger brother Majid, who had been training to be a computer technician.”

Could it be the same person I'd met two years previously?

I scoured through the rest of the article, then immediately went to my old diary from 2002.

This is what I found.

Here’s a translation of my atrocious handwriting. I've edited out other addresses for privacy reasons.

Tuesday October 29^th

Stopped in Tabuk with a broken muffler pipe. Two local teenagers helped find a garage, then drove us to Pizza Hut. (They) Paid for our lunch without telling us. (Then they) Drove us back and paid for the welding on the Beach Buggy. Then (they) gave me a gift, traditional Saudi Headdress and beads. (The) Nicest thing a stranger has ever done for me. We then drove off to Jordan and spent the night in the desert. (majid.r.enazi(at)hotmail.com)

I later tried the email address, it didn’t work.

I’ll do a future blog on how Jihad relates to Majid in both instances, the generosity and the holy war.

I've crunched the numbers on the liklihood of Majid Enazi being Majid El-Enezi on another blogpost here.

Crunching the Jihad numbers.

2009-02-11T18:26:00.003Z

For my blog on Majid, You’ll notice the two names are spelled differently, however in Arabic they would be spelled the same. Arabic uses only strong vowels, A, E, and W. Softer vowels can be shown with accents, which are usually left out. Furthermore, many Arabic names, when translated into English, can have the (El) taken out. El is a linking word, like (the), and many Arab names have it.

Both Majid Enazi and Majid el-Enezi, would likely be MJD, El-ENZI when written in Arabic. Furthermore, newspapers might alter names for various reasons, foremost because they are being translated from Arabic, but also because that’s how they hear them and therefore spell them differently.

The next question was, how many Majid el-Enezi’s or el-Enazi’s are there in Saudi Arabia? Is it a name like John Smith? Was it just a coincidence that I came upon two people who happened to have the same name?

So I did some research.

The article describes Majid as a younger brother who had been training to be a computer technician. Therefore, the age seemed right. The boy I met was a teenager between the ages of 17 and 19 in 2002. In 2004, it would make sense that he was studying for a degree.

An easy way to check how common a name is would be to use Google or Facebook. I did, and here are the results.

The only concrete reference to Majid El-Enezi is a link to the same New York Times article. I found no solid links to the name Majid Enazi.

Same goes for Facebook, I found no Majid Enezi’s or Enazi’s.

There are however 283 Enezis and 171 Enazis on facebook, most of which are preceded by ‘al’

Of the Enazi’s on Facebook, just over half show they are from Saudi Arabia (of the people who use the network location option).

For the Enezi’s, it’s about 20%.

Extrapolating, that narrows it down to about 100 Enazi’s from Saudi Arabia, and 50 Enezi’s. I’ll take a guess and say that the majority of Saudi Arabian males between the ages of 20 and 30 are using Facebook. For the sake of argument, say it’s 50%.

So, that means there are 300 Enezi's and Enazi’s of interest. Approximately 25% are women, so the number narrows further to 225 potential ENZ’s.

The majority of Facebook users in Saudi Arabia are young males, of which Majid would fall into the category of. Say 80% are males under 35. So we’re down to 170 people.

But out of the 170 young male Enezi’s in Saudi Arabia, how many would be in the three-year age range that fits with Majid in the article?

If the approximate 170 young Enazi males are evenly distributed from 15-35, then there are about 25 young Enezi’s who fit the age profile.

In conclusion, there is a very good chance that the Majid Enazi I met, is the Majid al-Enezi from the New York Times article.

Here’s a photo of Majid giving me the gifts.

If you enjoy this, or happen to know Majid, please leave a comment.

The Haunting Ghosts of Bushenomics

2009-02-07T18:59:00.005Z

Apparantly, the Bush administration overpaid for the Bank bailout to the tune of 78 billion dollars.

Broken down, that's $260 per American citizen handed over to the banks, just because, well, they screwed up.

For a family of four, they're on the hook for about a grand to pay for Bush's latest screwup.

Not that it's a big deal. With a ten trillion and soaring National debt, a thousand bucks is a drop in the bucket compared to the $130,000 each American family owes toward the national debt, assuming it could be paid off right now.

If Americans were to merely keep the debt at bay with interest payments, and assuming interest was stable at 5%, that family would pay

$6,500 per year.

Here's a graph to show the history of the US debt, since 1938.

Broken down, here are the numbers of who has been responsible for what.

For the sake of argument, I've mostly put the first year in office per president on the previous administration's bill.

Presdient	term	debt	Approx.	Interest owed	Interest adjusted
		increase	Bond Yield	for term	(deficit)/surplus

Nixon/Ford	69-77	700 billion	6.50%	130 billion	(570 billion)
Carter	78-82	350 billion	12%	516 billion	166 billion
Reagan	82-90	2.8 trillion	7.50%	940 billion	(1.86 trillion)
Bush I	90-94	1.8 trillion	5.50%	670 billion	(1.13 trillion)
Clinton	94-02	1.2 trillion	5.50%	2.67 trillion	1.47 trillion
Bush II	02-10	5 trillion	4.50%	2.7 trillion	(2.3 trillion)

I could crunch the numbers for days, coming up with historical interest rates, how much each president added to the debt vs how much they had to pay in interest.

To make this easy, I've estimated the average interest rates during various presidents since Nixon, which is really when the US Federal debt started increasing at a dramatic rate.

Here's the graph I used for my interest rate estimates. The purpose of this estimation is to break down how much each president was on the hook for, based on the 10 year US T-note yield. The chart above breaks each leader's debt down into interest from previous debt, vs debt they accrued by overspending.

Based on these interest corrected figures, lets add up the total budget management by Republicans vs Democrats.

Republicans - 5.86 trillion deficit

Democrats - 1.63 trillion surplus

Interest on previous debt - 7.596 trillion

Other statistics: over 90% of the debt came from three leaders whose reign lasted 20 years, Reagan, Bush, and Bush jr.

Writing Group, Week Two

2009-01-31T15:21:00.004Z

I've attended my second week of writing group now. There are eight of us, with between four and six people submitting work each week.

There isn't a lot of socializing beforehand, which is appreciated. I made a few comments on other peoples work. I do feel a little lost as I'm jumping into some of the stories part way through.

It's nice to have experienced writers tell you what they think. The other authors seemed interested in my work and their feedback was positive and thoughtful changes and tweaks.

To get into the writing group, I first met Nancy Brown, author of a book about her battle with substance abuse called Facing Life. Nancy introduced me to Maureen Garvie, another Kingston author, professor, and respected editor.

In being introduced to Maureen I had two hopes. The first was to get into the writing group. The second was partly hoping that she might take on editing my story. She hasn't said "no," but she seems busy with her work schedule. I think she's also feeling out my writing style.

Having been critiquing writers for five years, it's hard to tell someone outright that they need A LOT of work to ever get published. It really is a waste of time line editing their work. The most valuable thing they can be told is they need A LOT of practice to be publishable. I don't think I'm at that stage, then again, most writers don't. I'll admit, I have a scene here and there that I reread and cringe at why I didn't change it.

It hurts to hear harsh criticism. I've heard it early in my writing days, but over the years, those same harsh critiquers were praising my progress and suggesting I enter certain pieces into competitions. Now, I feel I'm hovering at the publishable level, and with a decent editor I can get pushed over it.

Unfortunately, getting an editor can be a tricky business. For one, there are a lot of frauds out there. The website Preditors and Editors is a good place to look into the dangers of frauds, from agents and publishers to bad editors.

Through Critique Circle, I've had my work edited by other writers, which helps bring it up to a higher standard and weed out 95% of the little errors. Through the writing group, I'm proceeding at a snails pace of about five pages a week. At the current pace, it would take two years to scour through my entire manuscript with them.

It's an enjoyable experience and one where I'm learning quite a bit. Week three is tonight.

Is finding an agent like finding a job?

2009-01-25T02:14:00.006Z

My wife and I are both well educated. Job searching is frustrating. I'm at the point where I feel you need to know someone to get anywhere.

A friend of mine in Quebec was recently put through a hiring process. He knew someone in the company and got the pre-screening test questions in advance. There were several situational questions. He had thirty minutes to answer all of them, and he raced through his prepared answers, barely finishing on time.

It was a job he was overqualified for, but needed something in hopes it would lead to something better.

"There was almost no way someone could have finished the test in the allotted time unless they'd read and prepared the questions well in advance," he told me.

One of the dozen applicants scored higher than him on the test. The only plausible answer could be that he wasn't the only person who got the test in advance.

The same thing happened in the interview. He finished second again and just missed getting the job. His friend that provided him with the test and interview questions wasn't on the selection committee unfortunately.

He was sure that the person who got hired had a friend on the selection committee or had some sway with it.

But you can't complain that someone else cheated when you cheated too. It's like going to the cops when someone ripped off your stolen merchandise.

It got me wondering though. How many jobs have I wasted my time pursuing because someone else had an in? How often was I just another chump sitting in front of a group of insincere interviewers to make the process look legit?

Now, as I search for an agent, I'm wondering if my efforts aren't the same on some level. It's much better if you know someone. Many agents say that outright, others publish scary statistics.

Let me say that a good agent won't represent crap just as a respectable publisher won't publish it. That's a given. Even if JK Rowling herself recommended a friend as a writer, an agent could quickly pick up if the writer was good or terrible.

But having someone, an editor, an established writer, a publisher, someone whose opinion means something, introduce you and push your work, is probably worth a hundred query letters and partial submissions.

It puts the agent or publisher in a positive mood, someone they respect is giving a good word. In essence, they are reading something they assume will be good, which may be the opposite to their expectation with a random submission.

I don't have the wit of Bill Bryson, nor the descriptive and literary flair of Paul Theroux. Like every writer, I have my own voice, honed and practiced and edited for years. I have a story I believe in, and writing that I feel finally makes the grade after years of the critiquing and editing learning curve.

I've sent off nine queries. I've been rejected by three agents. That's just the query stage, so it says a few things.

Sometimes, no matter how well a letter is written, if an agent isn't taking clients, or representing your genre, they'll fire off a letter saying they're not interested.

It also says tweak the query letter. So I have. I've run it past other writers, and come up with something that I feel is quite good now.

I'm sending two or three queries a week. I'm also working on my second book, which I'll announce in the next two weeks whether I'll pursue the story or not. Several third book ideas are in the works as well. All are non-fiction at this point.

If I do ever come out with a fiction, it will be something that builds and builds over years, with scenes drawn from different inspirations and gelled together over time. Which reminds me, I should get a notebook just for scene ideas and character building that I might one day use.

An International Collective Sigh of Relief.

2009-01-20T18:10:00.004Z

Bush is gone, and while the despair he caused to hundreds of millions of people lingers on, a new era has dawned upon not only America, but the world.

The following snippets of Obama's inaugural speech have done more to derail terrorism than the trillions of dollars and hundreds of thousands of lives wasted by the Bush Administration.

"We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace."

...followed by...

"To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it."

Agents? Publishers? Which road to take...

2009-01-19T00:44:00.004Z

Many agents want previously published authors. Publishers want agented authors. How's a guy supposed to break into the industry?

I have a thick 1200 page book in front of me called Writer's Market. It lists agents, publishers, magazines, and everything you need to know about where and how to sell what you write. I borrowed it from the library because I'm too poor to buy my own.

The above isn't entirely true. Some publishers accept unagented material. Here's an example of one:

Boyes Mills Press. Receives 10,000 queries and 7,500 manuscripts per year. Publishes 50 titles per year.

They publish one in every 150 submissions they receive. I'm wondering, should I even waste the twenty dollar postage and twenty dollar printing fee to sent them my manuscript?

Assuming some agents do approach them, while other writers are recommended through colleagues, the chances grow even bleaker.

The scenario is equally confusing when going the agent route. Some agents despise multiple submissions. They demand exclusivity. Yet they take up to two months to respond to a three chapter submission and demand that you snail mail them every step of the way.

Come on!

I can understand agents don't want to waste their time reading something that will be sold to someone else. But requesting more than two weeks of exclusivity at the query stage, or more than a month at the first three chapters stage? As a writer, that's a painfully long time, especially if the answer is no.

As a writer subbing queries, long response times scream, STAY AWAY. While exclusivity coupled with long response times is a definite way off my short list. Two months to respond to a query? I don't understand.

Here's one example of an Agency: How to Contact: Query with sample chapter, outline/proposal, SASE. Accepts fax queries. No email queries. Considers simultaneous queries. Responds in two months to queries. Obtains most new clients through recommendations from existing clients and editors.

It takes a minute to read a query letter and five seconds to decide, 1) This is/isn't a type of story I'd represent. 2)The query letter is/isn't written well enough for me to want to see more from this guy.

Same with the first couple pages of a novel. Either they're into it and ploughing forward, or it doesn't appeal to them and the names and titles are put into a rejection template and printed off at the end of the day.

The ideal agent:

They accept email queries and one chapter submissions and respond quickly as to whether they are interested or not. They then either ask to be mailed or emailed partials and whatever else they want; a synopsis, an autobiographical note; a proposal.

I think it's safe to assume agents open to unpublished authors without referrals reject the majority of unsolicited material after the first page. They probably reject the all but about 5% after the first chapter.

How much paper, money, and time could agents would save writers if they accepted the first chapter by email?

I'm going to tweak my synopsis, outline and bio now.

I've made a list of forty agents who might be interested in a travel novel. I've graded them, from A+ to C-, depending on their submission criteria.

To get an A grade, three criteria are necessary.

1) accept email queries
2) seem open to travel memoirs
3) don't sound intimidating, (we prefer referrals, we take two months to respond to queries, etc.)

Eight of the forty on my short list made the A grade.

One last note:

I'm meeting with a new writing group tonight. I've been in online writing groups with Critiquecircle.com for four years now. This will be my first live writing group.
I'm also looking into a professional editor to go over the book with me while I query agents. She has my first chapter. I hope she sees enough promise in it to take me on.

Who says spend?

2009-01-16T13:16:00.003Z

The Globe and Mail wrote that Canadians are telling the government to spend. Who are these Canadians and why are they telling the government to spend?

Now is a time for fiscal competence. If the government wants to spend their way out of trouble economic times, they should do so very carefully. I'll even suggest they look into where they can eek out a little more money in taxes to cover the bill. Why not increase the price of gasoline a tad, or increase the GST back to competent levels.

In a typical year, Canadian citizens pay billions in capital gains taxes. In a typical year, the stock market increases 5-10%.

In 2008, the stock market fell about 35%.

Instead of capital gains boosting incomes, which translates to higher income taxes, you'll probably see limited gains in 2008, while 2009 could see some huge losses dragging Canadian's income tax payments down.

Which is why we need higher GST, and why we need higher gas taxes. They are two areas where a few cents can be taken without too much pain.

The government should act competently and not try to spend our way out of trouble like the Americans are doing. If Canada wants to spend, do it on things we need and that provide longer term assets such as infrastructure and development.

Spend?

As a person searching for a job and in financial trouble, the greedy self-seeking side of me hopes the government spends and gives me some stability. However the logical side of me says be frugal. We are already paying 25 billion a year in interest, predominately from our last incompetent Conservative government spending spree. I don't want that to jump to fifty billion a year as a burden for the next generation of Canadians to bear.

The intro conundrum - on writing

2009-01-10T15:14:00.004Z

In previous blogs, I've talked about an editor I once called. At the time, I was green to writing. Essentially, I sucked. I had no direction, no concept of powerful writing for an audience, I just spewed out my story and thought it would get eaten up.

The editor left me stuttering. "Why would anyone want to read your book?"

It was a simple enough question. But I didn't have the answer. I wasn't someone famous, like Michael Palin. I wasn't extraordinary in any way, except that I'd done something extraordinary that nobody knew about... or cared about?

What the editor wanted was something I could write on a matchbox that would make her salivate over the book.

I have it now.
A spiritual, against-the-odds African journey, in a broken old Beetle.

I can tweak that here and there. But that's my story.

Spiritual is an aspect I didn't have before. I didn't see myself as a spiritual person. It reflects religion and faith and hope and all the things a practical person like me tries to keep in a box of personal feelings.

But it's what readers want. They want to get in touch with my feelings as I went through this amazing journey. The trick is, keeping it simple. Showing them tidbits of my inner self while not ranting about them. Sharing a deep, honest emotion can often say so much more than a rant can.

One of my many challenges in this book has been writing a catchy intro. I tried a hundred different angles:

My going nowhere bank job before the journey;
A breakup pushing me to travel;
Searching for my inner self; (It sounded cheesy.)
Starting with one of the most intense parts of the book; (but it ruined the later buildup to that part)
A Paul Theroux type overview of the negative of Africa;
A positive outlook on Africa;
A description of Cape Town;
A taxi ride;
My first AFrican journey; (It was confusing)

They were all just okay.

Finally, I was back in Canada just this past summer. I spent a week at the family's old log cabin. While there, I recalled that this was the place I'd first learned to dream. It was a place of inspiration, where I'd read my first African Adventure novel and watched my first movie on Africa.
My inspiring grandmother had gone against the odds and bought the cabin in 1939. It was built during World War One. She too had travelled in her youth, and her stories put the travel bug in me. Put two and two together. And bang, I had my spiritual intro, a dedication to the memory of my wonderful, inspirational grandmother.

It was the deepest. It was the most personal. It was the most honest.

It's done, and I feel good about it.

Time to find an Agent for my book

2009-01-06T15:24:00.005Z

My writing journey has taken me five years to get to this point. I originally thought it would take me six months to get this book out, and that it would be bought up like wildfire.

I was wrong on so many levels.

First of all, it took a year before I even had a manuscript length novel to submit, and 80% of that time was spent doing revisions.

I worked on proposals and cover letters and synopses and outlines. I submitted it to half a dozen agents, and got half a dozen rejections.

It was then that I found two things.

The first was that 99% of writers who produce manuscript-length work won't ever get published. This is because either they aren't good enough, or there's not a big enough market for their work.

The second was about the critiquing world. I joined the wonderful website www.critiquecircle.com

Critique circle was an eye opener. My writing was awful. It was all tell and no show. There were grammar mistakes everywhere. It was boring. I came across as arrogant and selfish and traipsing from one place to the next like a spoiled shit.

I worked and worked and worked on edits, submitting my stuff for critiques, and critiquing hundreds of other stories in the process.

After the second year, with all the critiquing, and having read how to write books, my writing got to the level where it was publishable. Each chapter took from a week to a month of hard editing to get to that level though.

Marriage caused a major slow down in my work. I was just getting into a groove as a writer and found that I wasw no longer able to lock myself away and focus entirely on progress with the book.

A year later, a baby arrived on the scene. The demands on my creative time went from slim to almost none, and for over a year my work all but stalled. The little progress I made was often undone by scatterbrained edits, where I'd work on a section only to make it worse, or repetitive of a previous chapter.

Then, one day, I worked my way to the end of the book. A complete first draft of the entire manuscript lay in front of me. I decided to leave home for a week and just edit everything.

I took trains and boats and buses up to Spain. I returned after a week with 400 marked up pages.

I made the corrections over the next month. Then, I gave the manuscript to an editor/friend who scoured over the story.

I revised her edits and rewrote the first two chapters.

The first two chapters still make me grit my teeth. They were a nightmare. I wanted the writing to be perfect and enticing and engaging. The problem was, I didn't enjoy writing them. It was a monotonous start to my journey. It was a backpack journey across a first world country, where the meat of the book was in the third world ahead.

So I pared it down. I focused on buying the car, forshadowing on the excitement ahead, and creating a little tension by playing up any problems I had. One of the challenges of the first chapters is they differ so much from the rest of the book. The events aren't as impacting on me as other parts.

I edited and edited and edited. I took parts out, I put parts back, I tweaked and overwrote and underwrote. Finally, I had something not brilliant, but passable. The best I felt I could do for the lacklustre circumstances surrounding the beginning.

I learned a lot about writing on my journey to the finish line. For example, a cliche error the majority of new writers make is starting their book with a character waking up. This was the case so often in the critiques and edits I made on other people's work that I saw it more often than not. This doesn't necessarily mean the writing is bad, it is often quite good. The beginning simply shows lack of imagination, and if a writing cliche, it can be a warning sign for agents and publishers.

So, with the help of countless other writers, ups and downs, and persistence, I have a finished manuscript again. It's been five years since I began writing. Two years of learning the craft, and another three years of constantly interrupted progress to the finish line.

Using the Preditors and Editors website to scour through agents, I sent my first query Sunday, and received a response saying they were too busy to take me on. I take this two ways.

One: They are busy, and my query letter didn't quite turn them on enough to really want to see my book.

Two: Improve the query letter and try another agent.

Yesterday I went to the local library and checked out the book "2008 Writers Market." I made a shortlist of fifty agents to target, and from them I pared it down to a shortlist of around five to start with.

I was going through my shortlist, and clicked on one of the websites. It said for non fiction submission procedures, "Follow the guidelines in the agent's book, (How to Write a Book Proposal). By Michael Larsen.

It was coincidentally on my lap. It was a book I bought during the 'So I think I can write' stage.

Three or four years ago now, I went through the book page by page and wrote a proposal. The proposal is actually quite good, although parts of it need to be updated.

So I'm working on the book proposal now and will send a query letter to Mr. Larsen's agency today.

The proposal includes a theme for my next book. A gamble, considering I'm waiting for circumstances to pull together in order to even write it.